The Arab Observer

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2011-10-03T01:59:00.000+03:00

http://thearabobserver.wordpress.com

هلأ لوين.. هل النساء فعلا ملائكة و الرجال شياطين؟

2011-09-30T09:46:00.000+03:00

غريب كيف انتقلت “النسوية” عندنا، من المطالبة والمشاركة الكاملة، حتى في الحروب وامتشاق السلاح، وكل المخازي، إلى التنصل من هذه المخازي وإلصاقها بالرجل وحده، وتصوير المرأة كملاك لا يقل طهراً عن “العذراء”. دخيل رجليك يا عدرا…!

مثير للإهتمام النقد لفيلم نادين لبكي الجديد "هلأ لوين" الذي طرحه الكاتب محمد عمر في مدونته أمس. هو يرى بأن الفيلم قسم المجتمع بطريقة تعسفية و بشكل ساذج إلى قسمين: نساء أخيار و رجال أشرار.

فعلا، الفيلم يفعل تماما ذلك، و مع أنني أحببت الفيلم بشكل كبير لما يحمله من رسائل إنسانية و من مشاهد مثيرة للمشاعر بشكل يخرج الضحكة و الدمعة من قلبك في نفس الوقت. مشاهد تبلور الحب الأنساني و الرغبة في الحياة و الخوف من الموت و خسارة أعز الناس. كما أنني وجدت شيئا من الراحة في القوة التي أعطتها نادين لنساء القرية بحيث لم يكتفين بردات فعل سلبية، بل تكاتفن معا لمحاربة العنف المتزايد و الذي هدد نسيج مجتمعهم و حياتهم اليومية. ربما تلك الراحة نبعت من حبي لرؤية قوة تتجسد في المرأة العربية و فرحة لرؤيتها تأخذ زمام الأمور، حتى و لو كان على شاشة السينما.

أفهم وجهة نظر الأستاذ محمد، فالفيلم ربما كان ليكون أفضل لو قدم وعيا جندريا أفضل. كان من الممكن جدا إيجاد شخصيات لرجال تحمل نفس الهم النسائي في القرية بحيث يساعدوهم في كل تلك الخطط، كما أنه كان من الممكن إضافة شخصيات نسائية كريهة تحث على العنف و تشجع الفرقة. لكنني أيضا أفهم البعد الفانتازي و الكوميدي للفيلم، فهو لا يحمل فكرا نسويا كما استنتج الأستاذ محمد لاحقا في مقالته و انتقل من نقد الفيلم لنقد الفكر النسوي المحلي. الفيلم لم يكن يحمل هما جندريا بقدر حمله هما طائفيا. الإخراج الفانتازي ساعد على تضخيم و تنميط الشخصيات لأغراض فنية ساعدت في جعل الفيلم أكثر إمتاعا.

لكن لنعود لنقد الحركة النسوية، و إن كنت لا أرى أنها انتقلت من المطالبة بالمشاركة الكاملة إلى التنصل من المخازي وإلصاقها بالرجل نفسه، إلا أنني أرى بأن الناشطين في الحركة النسوية العربية يجب أن يعوا لتلك النقطة و أن لا نترك لشغفنا في الدفاع عن حقوق المرأة و حرياتها أن يتطور بشكل يشيطن الرجل.

النظام الأبوي و الفكر الذكوري الموروث أضر بالرجال كما أضر بالنساء. و إن كانت المرأة أكبر ضحاياه فإن الرجل من ضحاياه أيضا. و إن كانت الذكورية وقعت تحت رحمة العنف، فإنها لم تكن حكرا على الرجال، فكم من النساء يحملن الذكورية تحت جلدهن و في بواطن أفكارهن؟

الفكر النسوي يحارب الذكورية الموروثة بغض النظر عن جنس حاملها، كان رجلا أم إمرأة. هدفها مجتمع أفضل للجميع.

أما الفيلم فهو من أهم الأفلام العربية التي تجب مشاهدتها في الوقت الراهن، فالتوتر الطائفي و المشاعر العنصرية انتشرت بشكل مخيف في المنطقة العربية في السنوات القليلة الماضية. الربيع العربي، و إن كان يحمل أملا بمستقبل ديمقراطي و حريات أكبر لهذه البلاد، إلا أنه حمل أيضا في طياته كم كبير من العنصرية و الجهل و الكره الطائفي. الأصوات العنصرية وجدت مساحة بين أصوات الحرية. و هنا في الأردن تردد صاداها في المواقع الإلكترونية التي فتحت ذراعها و بشكل محزن لأصوات الجهل أن تضرب الوحدة الوطنية و تهز هويتنا الأردنية.

ربما يجب على الحكومة أن تتبنى الفيلم و تنشره بمبلغ زهيد لتوعية الشعب الأردني من مخاطر الإنقسام و كيفية تضخم التوتر و انتقاله إلى عنف أكبر مع تزايد مشاعر الإحتقان و الجهل.

The Arab Observer is back!

2011-09-30T00:06:00.000+03:00

Almost two years have passed since I last blogged. I can't believe how fast time passes. I have missed blogging pretty much, and while being excited - for sometime now - about the day to write my first blog announcing my coming back, I have also been wondering how would it be like getting back to blogging. I have many questions in my mind: would I still have the same audience I had before? would I be able to maintain a healthy blogging schedule? would I be able to make my blogging better than before? have I lost my writing skills? shall I move to wordpress now since my blog has been down for two years and it is a good chance to start over? and many many others...

This is a declaration post for my come back. There are many issues and ideas that I want to talk about in the coming days. One thing in particular that I am pretty excited about is my upcoming novel. Yes, for those who have been following me here on this blog and reading this post, in the past two years I managed to finished writing my first novel "3aroos Amman" (Amman's bride) and recently was able to secure a publisher in Jordan. I am currently reviewing the publisher's edits and layout in order to proceed with it. It should be out pretty soon. I will talk specifically about it in the coming few posts.

I really missed this space... and happy to be back.

The Arab Observer: Bye Bye

2009-11-28T18:12:00.002+02:00

3.5 years passed since I started blogging. The Arab Observer has been the name I chose to transfer what I have in mind; "Arab" represented my identity as an Arab who has very little to do with the stereotypes and perceptions that defines Arabs as a race, culture and history, while "Observer" came from my own belief in the destined nature of our lives where things happen because they suppose to happen, and we, as identities, are merely observing the course of events.

As an Arab Observer, my focus has been targeted toward social issues, mainly social behaviors and injustices that are very well implanted in our cultural heritage. Behaviors that added more hardship to the already hard nature of life. Since my childhood, I had this need and motivation to make people feel better. It has always been simple to me, it was my gift, a gift that got easily manifested in words through this medium. Words haven't always been my field of expertise, but then again, through blogging, I realized that when someone wants to say what is in his heart, language would be the least of his worries.

The Arab Observer connected me with many people on different levels, it was the window that opened to me channels of opportunities, the more I opened, the more opportunities knocked my door. Unfortunately, The Arab Observer is coming to an end, it has to do with one of the opportunities it brought to my door that requires leaving this space behind me. For me, and as sad as I am about letting go of this part of my identity, I know that I will be carrying on the growth I gained through this blog with me to help me in the coming stage of my life. Connecting with people is a big part of who I am now, and will stay with me as I move forward. I will be connecting with people through another channel and a different medium.

What I will be missing the most about The Arab Observer is Haya - my female fictional character -. She helped me connecting with people on a different level, talking about women issues from a woman perspective that felt so real and so human. Haya will live with me, she may show her face through other mediums as well.

I haven't been very active lately, but I know that some people have been a real dedicated fans for this blog. I want to thank you all, anyone who stumbled upon any of my posts, all readers who hit this page more than once. I apologize because I need to leave you now and promise you a different mean of connection with you in the future. This is my last post for now, soon, I will deactivate this blog.

Love you all,

Wish you all the best,

The Arab Observer

يوم رجمت هيا المجدلية

2009-11-13T10:03:00.003+02:00

.لم اكن اشعر بالخوف و انا انظر الى الجموع الملتفة حولي. كأنني كنت مخدرة, شاردة عن الوعي. كأنني تركت ذلك الجسد لمصيره و جلست اراقب نظرات الغضب و الكراهية و الرهبة و السرور على وجوه الرجال و النساء و ايضا الشيوخ و الاطفال. كل يحمل حجر, احجار مختلفة, بعدة احجام و اشكال, زوايا حادة من جهات مختلفة تنتظر بلهفة لتمزيق جسدي الغض. تداخلت الاصوات و الصراخات ببعضها فلم اعد اميز معانيها, لكنني قرأتها على وجوههم: الموت للزانية

ضممت يدي الى صدري و تركت ركبتي تسقط الى الارض, اغلفت جفوني بصمت, و انتظرت. مرت ثواني خلتها ساعات, صمتت الجموع فجاة و اتجهت الانظار نحو رجل ملتحي تبدو عليه ملامح الانزعاج:" من منكم بلا خطيئة فليرجمها بحجر!" صرخ الرجل بوجه الجموع, "من منكم بلا خطيئة فليرجمها الان". مرت لحظة صمت, تلتها تساقط للحجارة, ليس باتجاهي, بل الى الارض. سقطت الحجارة و هي تحمل مشاعر الخزي و العار. سقطت الحجارة اليوم, و لكن بعد ايام سقط الرجل و سقطت كلماته و سقطت انا

كنت امشي بين العصور, اتلفت حولي, ابحث عن ذلك الرجل, كنت ابحث عنه او عن شبيه له, او عن شخص واحد يمتلك بعض من مقومات قوته و رجولته. لم اعد اجد رجالا, كنت اجد ذكورا. فالرجال تشوهت و ماتت, بقيت منها ذكورا تتسلط على جسدي و عقلي و روحي. هربت من الرجم يومها, و لكنني حرقت في مكان اخر و زمان اخر. هربت من الرجم يومها و لكنني اعدمت بالرصاص, شنقت, و قطع جسدي بعدها

عدت الى حفرتي, نظرت حولي مجددا, هذه المرة اخترقت نظراتي الجموع و امتدت الى البعيد. نظرت حولي هذه المرة فلم ارى حفرتي فقط بل رأيت مئات الحفر, بل الوف و ملايين. حفر كلها متشابها, تمتلىء بنساء تشبهني, كلها جالسة بصمت, شاردة في المجهول و تاركة جسدها لجلاده

سقطت دموعي هذه المرة, و سقطت دموع النساء في الحفر الاخرى, ارتطم كل دمع بجسد حاملته الساكن كأنه يحاول غسيله. لم تكن الدموع تيقن انه مهما حاولت اغتسال جسد المرأة فلن يتغير شيء, كان بالاجدى منها ان تتساقط على العقول فلربما ايقذت رجلا يعيد للرجولة مجدها و للانوثة حياتها

مع حبي,

هيا المجدلية

حقي ان اعيش و ان اختار و ان اكون ولكن

2009-10-30T09:44:00.011+02:00

دوار, غثيان و تعب, تنتابني هذه الاعراض احيان و احيان اخرى لا اشعر بشيء, في البداية اعتقدت انه مرض, ربما اكلت شيئا سيئا او اصبت بضربة برد. تغاضيت عن الاعراض في البداية, و لكنها امتدت لايام, و من ثم اسابيع, تحمل معها شعور اخر, شيء غريب يحصل لي, اشعر بتغييرات في جسدي, كأنني زدت بعض الوزن و كأن منطقة حوضي توسعت و كأن هناك انتفاخ في بطني

حامل؟ مرت الفكرة كطلقة في عقلي! سريعة و مؤثره, كومض البرق. اصابتني في صميم قلبي, و نزفت. اغلقت الجرح على الرصاصة و مسحت الفكرة, فضلت الانكار و اكمال حياتي كما هي. الخوف كان رهيبا, و لم اكن مستعدة لمواجهته. و لكن الايام و الواقع لم يسمحوا لي بالهروب, كلما حاولت كبت الصوت في رأسي "انتي حامل" و انكار ما يحصل, كلما تصاعدت اصوات اخرى تطالبني بمواجهة الواقع و تقبل الحقيقة

اصبح لدي شخصيتان تتصارعان بداخلي, واحدة تصرخ في الحقيقة - لا احبها - و الاخرى - رفيقتي - تفضل الانكار. انتصرت الاولى, و حتمت علي المواجهة. "انا حامل", تسارعت نبضات قلبي, كنت اموت و احيا من الخوف. "انا حامل" ماذا يعني هذا؟ ماذا افعل و كيف اتصرف؟ هل اعترف لاحد؟ من؟ احدى صديقاتي؟ مستحيل! سأخسرها. امي؟ يا ويلاه! ستقع من طولها. اخي؟ هل جننت؟

اصابعي تخونني و تتحرك فوق بطني, اشعر بحياة تنمو بداخلي, طفل بريء يواجه حكما صعبا حتى قبل ان يرى نور الحياة. هرمونات جسدي تخونني ايضا, و لاول مرة في حياتي, المح شعور الام, حب غامر يسيطر على خلايا جسدي و عقلي, و رغبة قوية بالدفاع عنه و حمايته, فأنا و طفلي واحد, هو انا و انا هو. ولكن انا و هو اعداء, هو حكم علي بالاعدام و انا حكمت عليه بنفس الحكم

راجعت الخيارات امامي - مرارا و تكرارا, القاسم المشترك هو الموت - موته هو -, فهو قد يعدم و حيدا, او قد يعدم معي, او قد يعدم معي و مع اخي و امي و ابي! سرحت في مخيلتي, ماذا لو؟ ماذا لو اتخذت الخيار الاصعب و قررت المواجهة؟ ماذا لو لم انفذ حكم الاعدام انا؟ من سينفذه؟ ابي؟ اخي؟ ام عمي؟ هل استطيع حمايتهم من هذه المواجهة و تدبير امري لوحدي؟

اغلقت باب غرفتي و انوارها, اريد ظلمة, اريد وحدة, و اريد موت. اغرقت عيني بالدمع, و تخيلت طفلي محاربا, يصارع بشجاعه للدفاع عن حقه في الحياة, يصارعني, و يصارع اخي و ابي, و يصارع الناس و المجتمع و العالم. كرهت نفسي و كرهت الناس و كرهت المجتمع و العادات و التقاليد و الدين و الاعراف. اين العدل؟ هل يحكم علي بالموت لقراري صون حياة؟ هل اموت و شريكي بالجريمة حر طليق, دون حكم و لاخوف فقط لانه رجل و انا امرأة؟

اراجع نفسي, و اتساءل, ما هي جريمتي؟ فأنا لم ابني على رغباتي الجنسية الا بعد ان اتخذت قرارا بأن جسدي ملك لي و ليس لاحد, قررت ان اعطيه حقه الطبيعي و امارس حقوقي كأمرأة, كأنسانة حرة تملك ابسط شيء يمكن ان يملكه اي انسان و هو جسده. قررت ان لا اشارك جسدي مع احد, حتى و لو كان ذلك سري الخاص. فأنا لن استطيع تغيير العالم او احتاج لتغييره طالما صنت سري, و انا امرأة متعلمة و مثقفه, اعرف خياراتي و نتائجها, و اتحلى بنوع من الذكاء. اعرف كيف احطات و كيف احمي نفسي. اعطي جسدي حقه بسرية , تعلمت استعمال وسائل الحماية. اعرف انه يوجد هنالك دائما احتمال للخطأء, حتى لو كان صغيرا جدا, و لكني قررت المغامرة, و ها انا ذا, امام احد اصعب القرارات في حياتي. هل املك القوة للصراخ امام العالم و الدفاع عن حقي في ان اعيش و ان اختار و ان اكون في العلن؟ ام املك القوة لقتل طفلي و صون حرية جسدي في السر؟ اميل نحو خيار الصراخ, و لكن خوفي يكبلني و يوجهني نحو الخيار الثاني

مع حبي,

هيا

Licky Licious on JustJared, People.com, HuffingtonPost and OK! Magazine

2009-10-05T09:34:00.010+03:00

It has been amazing the publicity generated around Licky Licious after the unexpected visit of Brad Pitt and Angelina Julie last Friday. It was Ihab Fakhoury, one of the Fakhoury family members whom I sublet the shop to earlier this year - in June -, who seized the chance, took a photo of the famous couple - and their two little babies - and post it to his facebook account.

In a social media world, it didn't take much time before someone from the major celebrity websites to pick the story up. In no time, Jared End from Just Jared - the famous celebrity American website - was able to contact Ihab, get some information about the visit, and post the story along with the photo taken by Ihab, and other photos taken from Licky Licious facebook group and in which some friends of mine appear in (and some ad designs work done by Moey :)). The story generated around 500 comment in less than 24 hour, and 723 so far.

Few hours after the story hit Just Jared, it got picked up by other major American websites/blog, including The Huffington Post, People.com, and OK! Magazine, and at one point it was even on the home page of People.com (see pic above).

I was contacted by Jared End from JustJared and Samantha Miller from people.com on Facebook, and Maria DiGioia-Gumm from OK! Magazine on my yahoo email. I have forwarded them all to Ihab because he was the one presented during the visit and has the entire story.

A day later, Al Bawaba (an Arabic news website based in Jordan) picked up the story and published the first Arabic version of it. Ali Dahmash, a Jordanian blogger, has also covered it later on his Under My Olive Tree blog and added some new photos of the couple both in the shop and in Rainbow street (I wonder where did he get the extra photos from as people.com were asking for them).

I am sure that sooner or later, the story will hit our local newspapers especially after the huge buzz it generated online. I would also expect a decent spike in Licky Licious sales post the visit. It has been really exciting sequence of events! Way to go Licky Licious :)

Interesting celebrities in the streets of Milan!

2009-09-29T14:20:00.005+03:00

What to expect when you go to Milan with Polimoda students of Luxury Management on Milan's fashion week?

I have never really been a big fashion fan, the ultra expensive clothes and the glamor of brands has always been beyond my comprehension and interest. My relation with fashion has merely been built through my father's own boutique and the bold and the beautiful! Recently I got to get closer to this world through my friendship with Haitham (a Jordanian fashion designer, he participated in LBC's mission fashion, and now studying Luxury Management at Polimoda Florence).

The Milan trip was arranged by Polimoda for its students as a field trip to check out the city in its fashion week. Ofcourse, the day plan was to visit the boutiques of the most luxurious brands shops in Milan (prices are insane!). There were many fashion shows taking place in the city and thus a lot of fashion icons were roaming the streets of Milan! I wouldn't have recognized any myself, but Haitham was all alerted! "This is one of the Fendi sisters!" He whispered to me. "Really?" I said. The next minute I saw him talking to her. Apparently she turned out to be Silvia Fendi! Then while we were walking, I heard him saying "OMG Francois Pinault!". I was like "Who the hell is Francois Pinault?", but he sure didn't hear me as he was walking fast to catch up with Francois and talk to him! I later found out that Francois is the owner of PPR group which owns Gucci, Givency, Balenciaga, YSL and other luxury brands! He is also the husband of Salma Hayek! He obviously was on his way to attend the Gucci show in Milan! (According to Forbes List of billionaires (2008) he is ranked 39th in the world, with an estimated fortune of US$16.9 billion.)

Haitham rushed to tell his friends at Polimoda about his encounter with Francois Pinault while they were checking Alexander McQueen's store in Via Monte Naploeone. While in store, I saw a tall man coming down the stairs, and I heard Haitham saying "Mr. Mario?". Mr. Mario said "Yes". So Haitham introduced himself to be a student at Polimoda from Jordan, and Mario stated that he visited Jordan many times. Haitham then asked to have a picture with him, and I took it myself. I didn't realize then how big that Mario is. He turned out to be Mario Testino, one of the most important photographers in the world. He has done photo shoots to many important celebrities including a lot of VOGUE covers and editorials. He sure visited Jordan many times as he photo shot Queen Rania on different occasions!

Lama Hourani, a Jordanian Jewelry designer, has also been showing her new collection in Milan. I made sure to go and check it out as well. I love her work. She is really talented. We were good friends at school. She has always been talented and ambitious herself. I remember her room filled with celebrity pictures where we were teenager. I have been following her news in the media from time to time. It is good to see her coming this far. Check out her website here http://www.lamahourani.com/

Coca Cola has also contributed to the city of fashion with huge fashionable Coca Cola bottles in different areas of the city. It was nice checking out each bottle different design while walking the streets of Milan.

It was a nice experience for me getting to know more about the fashion world. I know that Dubai has been taking some good steps to be one of the major fashion capitals of the world. I wonder if Amman can make it one day. There is a huge amount of money in this industry. Queen Rania is much respected as a fashion icon herself, maybe one day she will end up having Jordan on the world's fashion map.

Queen Rania: We don't need process, we need projects on the ground

2009-09-24T12:21:00.004+03:00

Two days ago, Queen Rania gave an excellent speech about the Palestinian cause at the University of Yale in America. I have never seen before such a logical, strong argument done in such eloquent, passionate, and respectful way that talks out the suffering of people of Palestine. I believe that Queen Rania has certainly touched the hearts of the audience and anyone who was lucky enough to watch her speech.

She didn't just highlight the problem and brought attention to it, but also called for better actions and presented a true solution. She said:

We don't need process, we need projects on the ground

Projects on the ground, this is exactly where we should be heading. We no longer need long processes trying to achieve peace, we need to act, today, and do whatever we can to bring people together and give better lives to people in Palestine.

I will leave you with the speech that brought tears to my eyes.

I am enjoying my stay in Florence

2009-09-22T12:12:00.004+03:00

It has been 4 days since I arrived to Florence to visit my friend who is studying at Polimoda - a Fashion Design and Marketing School -. From first sight, one would realize that it is hard to compare Florence to Amman. Florence is a very old City with a river crossing it and small roads that connects big buildings who are aligned next to each other with no space at all and are roofed with red bricks. It is hard for people to ride their cars in the city and thus a lot either uses bicycle, motorcycle, small cars, or walk. I have seen really weird small cars around with some moving on 3 wheels instead of 4! I wonder how brilliant/efficient of an idea this is!

As a tourist - not having either bicycle, motorcycle, or car - I have to walk all the way in the city to reach the places I am heading to. Thank God my friend is an expert in the city as he has been living here for few months now. He keeps on directing me around, and I keep on wondering if there are any shortcuts that he is missing and would spare us some of that long walk! To be honest with you, I am not used at walking like this at all, in Amman I barely walk! I think that I can safely say that I have walked here in the past 4 days more than I walked in Amman for my entire life! The first 2 days I couldn't really sleep well because my legs were hurting from walking! I don't want to bitch about it, as it is a nice experience that let me know the city better.

One of the things that I find interesting in the city is the naming of places. The city is know for its history and importance in the middle ages and the renaissance especially for its arts and architecture. Most of the names of places and monuments are derived from Christianity, and thus you walk from "Piazza de Saint Spirito" (the Holy Spirit square) to the "Piazza Della Signora" (Virgin Mary's square) to the Trinito bridge (the trinity) to many other Christian named places where at some point you feel like in a Christian heaven. As a Christian myself, although not religious at all, it still gives me a feeling of home/belonging especially with all those churches bells ringing from time to time during the day.

As for the people of Florence, I see it for myself now, I can tell you guys/girls that yes that Italian people are - indeed - good looking :). You hardly see anyone with overweight, maybe it is due to their life style, they are also fashionably and colorfully dressed with beautiful women in the street who are not worried of hiding their body parts from men who can't control their sexual appetite. You can see love spread up all along the river borders and bridges, with young couples embracing and kissing each other, showing a beautiful display of affection that we miss, sometimes, even inside our homes.

Two trends of dressing that caught my attention here where I think they are weird and of poor taste are: 1. Red and pink trousers for men! Even old men wear them! 2. Women wearing boots in the summer!

What I like the most in Florence is the amount of people in the streets. People are just out, chilling and having fun in a city that is pedestrian friendly. I just wish we have more public areas in Amman where people can just go out and enjoy their time.

Hugs to you.. Jordanian Women

2009-09-16T23:28:00.003+03:00

This post isn't meant to call for any kind of action toward achieving better results in terms of gender equality, and this post isn't meant also to condemn current cultural heritage or social practices that pose challenge to Jordanian women lives. This post is truely and sincerly written to show my deepest respect and admiration to whom we consider to belong to the weaker gender and who prove day after day to be the tougher one.

I don't know if it is just me or not, but I feel more humanity in Jordanian women in general than Jordanian men. Maybe it is their inherited tenderness mixed with their aquired toughness to meet up daily challenges that have been imposed on them through the years.

Throughout my life, I have been blessed to come closer to many Jordanian women and observe their different stories and struggles. My admiration is spread to cover every single woman I have met in my life whether she has been a woman who "fit" in the social norms or not; because both that one who "fits" had to work hard in order to fit, and those who don't had also to work hard to stand up for themselves and pay the consequences of not fitting.

I feel like giving a hug to the woman who work hard to make a better life for her family, to the woman who endure an abusive husband for the sake of her children, to the one who do so because she fears life without him, and to the one who stood up for herself and demanded her freedom only to end up losing her children and struggling each day to make efforts to be closer to them even from a distance.

I feel like giving a hug to veiled women (spiritual hug) who deal with different social dynamics as well with their own internal characteristics.; those who are more at ease to break bridges than others and those who feel more at ease in building ones around themselves. I feel like giving a hug to non-veiled women, those who cover their body with a social veil and maintain their virginity to their husbands because society demands so, and those who try to manage and play with the space of freedom they allow themselves, and those who do break the boundaries of social freedoms and are strong enough to claim their rights to their bodies and their sexuality.

I feel like giving a hug to that Jordanian woman who is comfortable with her sexuality and who is mature enough to have sex partners based on her own personal desire and decision transending every inherited and imposed social rule around us. I feel like hugging that woman who identified herself to be a lesbian and who realized that the matching of the terms "Jordanian Woman" and "Lesbian" is a match from hell and still know her odds and proud of herself.

I send kisses to all of you, to every single one of you, to every hero of you, mothers and sisters, wives and daughters, the presumed weaker gender, the tougher one.

Cheers and happy Eid..

"All men are equal" That Is Not True!

2009-09-13T14:22:00.009+03:00

There are some values in life that you just take for granted, you never question, and you build your moral compass on top of it. You use it as a based to judge people and draw conclusions about life and people's behaviour. With mostly everyone around you believing the same, you end up embracing these values to be the only truth out there with little to no chance to even think of otherwise possibility.

And then again, one day, and with a single line you read - a line that is formed of couple of few small words - you got hit with a clear fact that shatters your moral direction and send you in a twirl of thoughts trying to reassess your entire set of values, your perception of life, and your accepted code of behaviour.

That happened to me yesterday while reading "The Winner Stands Alone" book by Paulo Coelho. I was hit with a simple truth that left my mind occupied trying to process the implications of this truth and weighting its meanings and volume. Paulo has simply pointed out that "all men are equal" is a big lie that has been decided by a mad man and in which we all follow. In truth, all men are different.

For me, the line seems to carry a big deal of truth, but at the same time it challenges my core value of equality between human beings. Isn't that what most of us are obsessed with at this stage of human evolution? Aren't universal equal rights what we all aspire to and are vocal about? But then again comes the real question: How can you apply equal (same) laws on different entities? Is that even possible? and how fair that can be? I mean if you for instance apply a law of food portion onto two men, one who gets satisfied by an X amount of food while the other don't and thus he breaks the law. We have the same law here, but it isn't fair for the latter, is it?

Can we have then custom tailored laws for different people knowing that each individual of us is ineed different in a way or another? or does that mean that the notion of equality is overrated and the truth is that there is not - and won't ever be - real equality in this unfair world? Will it matter when we embrace our indivdual differences and cater to our individual needs rather than what fits better to the majority of us?

Life is not fair, I have made peace with that fact long time ago, but have always also believed that we can try to make it more fair than it currently is. Today, I am reassessing my beliefs as it appears to me that while trying to inject more fairness in our lives by coming up with universal laws, we are hurting some others who are simply different and can't abide with those laws.

Would the answer be in human compassion? It doesn't sound like a good option to me with its current universal state, and while it has improved dramatically in the past decades as we evolved, it still needs time to come full in length to be able to stand alone and claim the answer for human equality. Untill then, the answer will remain: No, all men are not equal. We are all different.

Life can be a fairy tale... and more..

2009-09-09T22:08:00.006+03:00

Cinderella

If people believed more in fairy tales instead of just listening to their husbands and parents - who think everything is impossible - they would be experiencing what she's experiencing now, being driven along in one of the innumerable limousines that are slowly but surely heading for the steps and the red carpet - the biggest catwalk in the world.

Paulo Coelho - The winner stands alone

That is the power of dreams, the magic that sparks from the eyes of *some* people who we call *ambitious* and who do know more than anyone else that they are destined for glory.

Sometimes dreams do sound big and distanced, and sometimes life's hardships cloud our paths, but then again, we do always hear about real fairy tales for ordinary people who dreamt, believed, and achieved.

So why can't we -all- be Cindrellas and float in our own dreams? Life can be a fairy tale... and more..

Policemen in Jordan beating a helpless man: This is NOT acceptable

2009-09-05T10:55:00.003+03:00

Update: I got this on Twitter:

silentempire @TheArabObserver this was in 2007, according to this post http://www.jordanzad.com/jordan/news/117/ARTICLE/22579/2009-09-04.html

The article says that the spokesman of the Public Security Department Major Mohammad Khatib pointed out that this video is an old one and has been taken on 2007 in an incident where the man being beaten up has provoked the policemen in the video! And that the security department makes sure to monitor policemen so not to break the law.

I, personally, don't think this is enough. I want names of those policemen to be published and for us to know how they were punished exactly, and what measurment has the security department take in order to prevent such events to occur again.

I really can't believe that this happened in Jordan! Policemen CANT be allowed to act this way. Those bunch of policemen should be punished for what they did.

Move this forward and raise your voice so that authorities take actions in this matter.

Like Girls Grow Breasts When They are Older, Some of Them Grow Penises

2009-09-02T19:48:00.002+03:00

"As a kid, I was bombarded with rules and stereotypes about gender. It was always a boy/girl dichotomy. Way before I had any idea about sexuality or puberty, I was taught that boys love girls and girls love boys and that's how the world works. But what seemed like a universal law didn't make a sense to me. I was never interested in girly things. I cut my hair really short and played soccer and climbed rocks. I deduced, therefore, with my young logical mind, that my feelings for girls could only mean one thing: that I was actually a boy. How else could I have crushes on girls? So I came to the conclusion that, like girls grow breasts when they're older, some of them grow penises."

That is a testimony of one of the lesbians girls in a new published book called "Bareed Mista3jil" - It is a set of letters (short stories) of Lebanese lesbians talking about each themselves and how different are their stories and struggle with both their gender and sexual identities.

There are many touching stories in the book, this one hit me the most because of the picture this woman draws of a young girl who loves girls, and who thought that because of the common norms of society, she must become a boy, and that God will fix the problem eventually when she grows up and grow her a penis!!

The girl continues her story by explaining how she finds out that some girls do actually love other girls and that she simply has different sexual orientation. That made her more comfortable with her gender as a woman.

Bareed Mista3jil is an excellent read, it gives you a broader perspective about the diversity of human beings in terms of gender and sexual identities in relations to the particularity of the Lebanese society.

It is a must read - You can find it at Books@Cafe or order it online from the Books Cafe website here for $16.95.

Jordan's Tribal Heritage Shouldn't Justify Death Sentence

2009-08-30T00:36:00.003+03:00

Last week Batir Wardam, a Jordanian famous writer, blogger and human rights activist, published a post on his blog about death sentence in Jordan. What he said mainly is that he is a strong supporter for the international declaration of human rights and the associated covenants with it except for one thing he doesn’t completely agree with, which is the call to abolish death sentence absolutely.

Batir goes on in his article and try to justify his stand by pointing out Jordan's specific cultural heritage of tribal laws where tribes are known of taking justice by their hands and kill the murderer - or any member of his family - in order to take revenge. He claims that if the law can give the victim its right by sentencing the murderer to death, then tribes don't have to enforce their own version of justice.

I, personally, have a deep respect for Batir, and I do usually agree with most of his ideas and stands, but I found myself completely against the notion that he presents. I didn't intend to write about this subject back when I read his post, but today I was reading July's issues of Living Well magazine which features a comprehensive report addressing death sentence in Jordan, and was surprised to read that the same notion has been talked out by a Jordanian famous lawyer.

It seems that there is some pushing towards abolishing death sentence in Jordan (no death sentence applied since 2006), but it also seems that there is some pushing against it. Building a case on the particularity of the local social structure and heritage is a quite common approach that has historically been used in different occasions to fight the pressures of the global community to push human rights amendments in the country.

While it is true that tribes tend to take revenge, I don't think that it justifies keeping the death sentence penalty. You don't fix a mistake with another one. If we have a problem with our social heritage then we should come up with laws that enforce fixing the problem instead of building on it and violate human rights recommendations. If a member of a family murdered someone in retaliation of a murdered happened in his family, then an investigation should take place in order to find out who in his family supported and helped him to take his revenge. In the eyes of the law, associates and supporters of a crime are criminals as well and should be punished. That is what should be enforced in order to stop tribes from applying the law by their hands instead of supporting death sentence with all what it entails of violations of human rights recommendations.

Why Queer is not good enough to define Arab homosexuals?

2009-08-14T21:53:00.004+03:00

The Arabic culture is still at a stage of evolution where it has little to no tolerance to human differences. Whatever is different, and whatever defies the norms is rejected and looked down upon. That explains the bad connotations associated to the word “shaz” which is a direct translation of the word queer.

“Shozooz” in the Arabic language is a term that is used to label anything that is different than normal; it is also used to mean that something is odd or weird which also holds bad connotations in the Arabic perception.

While the homosexual community in the west has been able to reclaim the word ‘queer’ – which is now being used with pride by some of the community's younger members to describe themselves – it only happened because their culture was mature enough to embrace and celebrate people’s differences. Unfortunately, that is not the case for the Arabic culture, and thus, Arab homosexuals face a dilemma of terms and labels in their battle towards gaining acceptance from their local societies. “What applies to the west doesn’t necessary applies to us” a sentence that many Arab gay activists believe in.

That is true in a way especially now that homosexuality itself is widely perceived in the Arab world as an imported construct that is against the general consensus of moral conduct. The issue here in the Arabic area is that people still insist on defining homosexuality by sexual behavior instead of sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is a recent scientific discovery due to scientific advancements in psychology, human brain and behavior. It hasn’t picked up in the Arabic area due to different reasons; first because it is a new concept, second because it is a western invention that strongly challenges Arabic sexual moral values, third because only few Arabs actually read books and forth because it contradicts with what most people believe in of Islamic teachings.

In reality, same sex attraction and not behavior is what connect this wide pool of people. They self-identify as homosexuals rather than queer and thus are demanding to be called “Methlyeen” rather than “Shazeen”. While being queer – odd or weird – doesn’t necessary mean a bad thing, it is actually bad in the current perception of the Arabic mind, and thus it is kind of a word that offends most Arab homosexuals.

3 weeks ago, I was watching an episode of Desperate Housewives – season 4 -; they had this brilliant conclusion at the end of the episode related to labels and the way we – human beings – judge each other. They had a priest who used his power to tarnish the reputation of a woman and call her prostitute because she rejected his sexual advancements, they had a creepy child who was bitter and angry and caused many troubles to her family, they had a female drug dealer who rejected strongly marital disloyalty, and they had a man who was perceived as a villain for a horrible past mistake and who showed a heroic act of standing up for his wife.

They ended the show with a line where they asked: Can a priest be evil? Are children always innocent? Can a drug dealer be a good person? And can a villain be a hero? In the same line, queers can be good people, but until our societies become mature enough to see behind labels, homosexuals will keep on demanding to be called “Methleyeen”. Unfortunately we still literally apply the Arabic proverb “an envelope is known through its title” and judge people based on the label they carry.

Honor Crimes, will the law change anytime soon?

2009-08-13T01:49:00.004+03:00

As a Jordanian man, I know exactly what “honor” defined by the Jordanian cultural heritage means. In my teen age, I had to pass through different emotional dilemmas regarding my relationship with my younger sister. On one hand I needed to assert my masculinity and “fit” in the Jordanian male macho sub culture which entails embracing “honor” as being the most important value that defines a man, and as being a characteristic that is attached to females and associated with their relationship with the opposite sex. One the other hand, I had a deep respect for my sister, her emotions, and her choices in life.

Coming from a middle class family with easy going non conservative parents, and as I grew out of my teen years, I was fortunate to break off the “honor” mentality, end my dilemma, and decide that my sister is more important to me than any social or cultural obligation. Sadly, not all Jordanian men are lucky as I am. Some do grow in much harsher conditions where social pressure on “honor” is much stronger and serious; strong enough to define aspects of their behavior through their life time.

The seriousness of the “honor” issue found a perfect match in Article 98 of the Jordanian Penal Code. The Article stipulates a minimum of three months and a maximum of two years in prison for a murder that is committed in a fit of fury caused by an unlawful act on the part of the victim. A fit of fury is exactly what many Jordanians expects from a man who just found out that a woman relative has disgraced his family “honor”. Somehow this matching opened the doors to the murder of many Jordanian women.

“Murder In The Name Of Honor” is a recent book by Rana Al Husseni – a Jordanian Journalist and women rights activist - where she highlights her 16 years of reporting honor crimes in Jordan. Through the years, Rana was able to bring the attention of the Jordanian local community and the outer world to the horrible stories behind those murders. She succeeded in creating a strong movement of women non-governmental organizations which got backed by international pressure and support from the Jordanian Royal family to push the Jordanian government to do something about the current law.

It was only recently that we have started hearing about stronger stands from government officials against honor crimes. A week or so ago the Minister of Justice Ayman Odeh stated to the Jordan Times that "A crime is a crime. There is no such thing as honor crimes. All people are equal before the law". His statement was accompanied by another one from a well known Muslim cleric, Abdul Rahman Ibdah, who said "Islam absolutely rejects the killing of others by individuals. There is nothing called ‘honor crimes' in Islam".

Jordan bloggers have also been covering honor crimes and showing dismay of the government for not being able to abolish the Article 98 of the penal code. They have also recently started a facebook group called “La sharaf fel Jareemeh” (No honor in crime). The group has over 900 members so far and is gaining popularity.

Any observer can see that there is a substantial shift in the Jordanian public opinion regarding the matter. The pressure of civil organizations, local and international community may lead to change in laws, but would that solve the problem? It may, only if accompanied with a change in some social values.

هل نحن امام اخر فرصة لدينا لانقاذ الارض؟

2009-08-07T23:28:00.006+03:00

من الافضل صياغة السؤال بطريقة اخرى: هل نحن امام اخر فرصة لدينا لانقاذ الحياة على كوكب الارض؟ الحقيقة هي ان الارض ككوكب موجود منذ الازل و سيبقى موجود لفترة طويلة حتى بعد اختفاء الحياة عن سطح هذا الكوكب. لكن هنالك خطر حقيقي يواجه البشرية الان, خطر التغير المناخي الذي يهدد جميع اشكال الحياة على الارض. نسمع بكثرة عن الحاجة لانقاذ الكوكب, فذلك كما يبين باولو كويلهو في رواياته الاخيرة - المنتصر يقف وحيدا - يعطينا شعور بالرضى لهدفنا النبيل, لكن الحقيقة اننا بحاجة لانقاذ انفسنا نحن. الكوكب سيستمر لكننا سنختفي

طبعا, كثير منا سمع عن التغيرات المناخية و الاخطار القادمة, و لكن قليل منا يعي ان خطر التغيير المناخي ليس خطر مستقبلي, بل هو خطر اني نواجهه اليوم في عدة مناطق حول الكرة الارضية. قليل منا يعرف ان التغييرات المناخية تقتل اكثر من 300,000 شخص سنويا حول العالم و تهدد حياة الاف اخرين. فيا ترى ما هو شعور العائلات السورية التي اضطرت الى مغادرة بيوتها في القرى و الضيعات السورية بسبب الجفاف؟ ما هو شعور الشعب اليمني عندما ضربه اعصار جونو و شرد الالاف السنة الماضية؟ و ما هو شعور المصريين اليوم و هم يرون دلتاهم تغرق يوما بعد يوم؟

الاخطارالتي تحيطنا كبيرة و حقيقية, و لكن للاسف فـأن الاعلام العربي شبه غائب عن القضايا البيئية. العالم يغلي, هنالك ادراك عالمي اليوم عن مدى خطورة التغير المناخي. انها اكبر مشكلة واجهتها البشرية منذ وجودها. يجب ان نعمل كلنا معا, الكل مسؤول اليوم و الكل عليه ان يكون على قدر المسؤولية اذا اردنا ان نرث شيئا للاجيال القادمة

دول العالم ستجتمع في كوبنهاجن في ديسمبر هذه السنة. اجتماع كوبنهاجن مهم جدا لتقسيم الاستحقاق المناخي بين دول العالم. المفاوضات ستكون صعبة جدا, فالدول لديها مصالح و مسؤوليات متضاربة. هنالك الدول الغربية التي ساهمت بالشكل الاكبر خلال العقد الماضي في الانبعاث الحراري, و هنالك الدول النامية و الكبيرة في عدد السكان كالصين و الهند التين تساهمان بانبعاث حراري اكبر اليوم بسبب النمو في اقتصاديتهما, و هنالك الدول المصدرة للنفط كالسعودية المهددة بخسائر اقتصادية كبيرة اذا توجه العالم للطاقة البديلة. المعادلة صعبة و معقدة فالتغيير المناخي ليس عادلا ابدا, الدول الغنية التي ساهمت بالقدر الاكبر من المشكلة في الماضي ستتضرر بشكل اقل من الدول الفقيرة التي لم تساهم ابدا في الانبعاث الحراري. العالم اليوم امام اختبار حقيقي, الكل يتمنى الخروج في معاهدة تعطي عدلا اكبر للقضية و لكن الكل يدرك ايضا انها قد تكون اخر فرصة لدينا

اخر فرصة؟ نعم فالكرة الارضية اليوم على حافة الاشباع من ثاني اكسيد الكربون الذي يمتص في المحيطات. هذا التشبع قد يصل الى نقطة مفصلية بحيث تبدأ الكرة الارضية بتسخين نفسها بتسارع. هذه النقطة محورية لانها قد تكون نقطة اللاعودة, النقطة التي لن ينفع بعدها اي جهد بشري للعودة. يحدد العلماء اعلى درجة اشباع ثاني اكسيد الكربون المقبولة ب350. تجاوز هذا الرقم يضعنا في مأزق حقيقي. للاسف فأننا قد تجاوزناه حقا ووصلنا الى 378 درجة و نواصل الصعود! العلماء صدمو و فزعو في صيف 2007 من الذوبان الكبير و المفاجىء للجليد في القطب الجنوبي (25% من الكتلة الجليدية اختفت فجأة) لانه فاق كل التوقعات العلمية و حسابات تأثير التغيرات المناخية. اليوم نحن نعلم ان الخطر يمكن ان يكون اكبر من ما نتوقع و قد يأتي ايضا اسرع من ما نتوقع. لدى الناشطين البيئيين خطة عمل للعودة الى رقم اقل من 350 خلال الاعوام القليلة القادمة و لاكن يجب على دول العالم الاتفاق و تحمل المسؤولية

الدول العربية لديها دور محوري في هذه المفاوضات, للاسف فأن السعودية موقفها غير مشجع من التغير المناخي حيث انها تحسب مصالحها الخاصة و بقصر نظر. للاسف ايضا فالموقف السعودي هو المسيطر على موقف الدول العربية, موقف دول الوبك المصدرة للنفط و الدول الافريقية التي تتزعمها السودان. اليوم نحن امام استحقاق حقيقي و واجب بشري للضغط على حكوماتنا العربية لاتخاذ الموقف المسؤول. يجب علينا العمل بجد لتوصيل اصواتنا ومطالبة اعلامنا العربي بأخذ دوره المناسب. قد يكون مستقبل البشرية في ايدينا نحن العرب, و قد نكون نحن الطرف الصعب في المعادلة لانقاذ البشرية. السعودية و باقي الدول العربية النفطية لديها اليوم فرصة حقيقية للتوجه نحو الطاقة البديلة فالعالم مستعد لمد يد المساعدة في وقت بدأنا نسمع فيه عن اقتراب نضوب المخزون النفطي

10 normal things that people do or believe in

2009-07-11T21:23:00.010+03:00

In "The winner stands alone" - Paulo Coelho's latest novel - there is a list of *normal* things that people do or believe in.

I have picked 10 from the list, some that I had break off, and others that I am working on:

1. Working from nine till five every day at something that gives you no pleasure at all just so, after thirty years, you can retire.

It is actually from eight to six for me! Long working hours - I know. That is something that I still need to do, but I won't wait till my retirement. I will for sure find other doors that would change this (already working on it).

2. Retiring and discovering that you no longer have enough energy to enjoy life and dying few years later of sheer boredom.

I CAN'T let this happen, and I won't! To be honest, I feel less energy now being in my thirties than being in my twenties or teenage. Maybe it is due to hectic long working hours, or maybe it is age. I am afraid that it is true that their won't be enough energy for me when I retire, but who said that I need energy to enjoy life? ;). That is the beauty of being a lazy man - you never die of sheer boredom :P

3. Believing that power is much important than money and that money is much important than happiness.

I see it everywhere, but I have never adopt it. Happiness always comes first for me. I know that pursuing money have ate from my happiness in the past year or so, but that is something I felt needed for more happiness in the future. I may be wrong, I will try to balance, and keep a smile.

4. Making fun of anyone who seeks happiness rather than money and accusing them of 'lacking ambition'.

Same as in the previous point, but I know that people who do this, do it from sheer jealousy. Those who are happy are truly gifted. The truth is that no matter how we claim that money is everything, deep down inside, we all know that happiness is what really matter.

5. Waking up each morning to an hysterical alarm clock in the bedside table.

Akhhhh! You know what, the day I stop waking up to my phone alarm would be the day where I would declare that I have wonderful mornings.

6. Believing absolutely anything that appears in print.

I am a person who prefers to give trust rather than doubt, but I also have the ability to smell when something is fishy and when it is not. Unfortunately, I know many people who don't just believe anything in print, but also they believe everything that hit their email inbox! (especially those related to religious myths)

7. Eating three time a day even if you are not hungry.

I eat 6 times a day and I don't mind more! This is one of the beautiful things that people do.

8. Assuming the women don't like football and that men aren't interested in home decoration and cooking.

Strict gender roles! I have broken mine and do enjoy what ever make me happy. Cooking and home decoration do sound really more fun than watching football!

9. Blaming the government for all the bad things that happen.

People who do that really annoy me! I believe firmly in the saying: It is better to light a candle than to curse the dark.

10. Being equally convinced that aggression and rudeness are synonyms with having a 'powerful personality'.

I feel sorry for people who believe in this and actually build their personality on it thinking that they do really have a powerful one where in reality it is just a stupid thing to do because deep inside they know that aggression and rudeness is just a form of protecting their fragile inner-self

Social Hypocrisy 2

2009-07-09T23:59:00.004+03:00

In Jordan, a woman may disable her facebook account after she gets into a serious relationship, do you know what else she may do? Fake innocence! That is not an uncommon advice, where married women would advice their friends who got recently into a relationship to act *surprised* if her boyfriend/fiance tried to touch her hand. If it is her wedding night, then the advice would be for the woman fake shyness and ask her husband to shut off the light!

Sadly, Jordanian women are still expected not to be sexually active before marriage. Although many are indeed sexually active, in discretion, but with no intercourse (to maintain the hymen), it is nothing acceptable to be mentioned infront of your future husband. The common perception, if a woman made out with a man, he won't marry her! So if she made out with her first boyfriend, and his didn't marry her, she won't make out with her next one and end up marrying him! He, on the other hand, would try with her before marriage, and if she refuses, then she would have passed the test, and then he would end up marrying whom he thinks to be the pillar of virtue (in his own moral values ofcourse).

Well yes! That is a great advice. With such social values, and such mentality of men, women must have learnt how to trick them! and then again, it is a trick that most men are willing to take because it spares them the hectic of carrying on with what society expects from them if they know the truth!

Well let's look at it closer:

A man waiting for his wedding night, he is eager to have halal sex with the woman he has married but he expects her to act cold, shy, and inexperienced. He still hopes that he will have good sex - that is the reason he got married afterall!!

Well that doesn't really work! It takes two for good sex. But if she is going to please him, then she would show some knowledge, and thus alert him of a potential pervious experience which would push him to divorce her.

Do we really have to be this hypocrite? Can't women just stand up for themselves?!

Haya's 30 years bday resolution regarding men.. and women

2009-06-27T14:22:00.005+03:00

I thought that 30 years old would be the number where people would stop/shy of asking me questions about when am I going to get married. I was wrong. I now know that people have no shame... no shame at all.

When I am talking about people here, I am mostly referring to other women, those who call themselves friends and seize every little chance to ask me: "Haya, nothing yet happened with you?" "dear, you are 30 now, you have to work harder?" "Haya, you need to change, you are too serious, men don't like that!"

What the heck! Suddenly, every woman who have a ring in her hand, becomes a relationships expert! The ugliest one from school who married her own cousin, the self-centered one who was madly in love with her boyfriend for 10 years only to leave him for the first wealthy groom who knocked her door, the unconfident, self-pity, woman who drove me crazy because of her fear of never getting married and seized up the only chance she got, and the woman who is nearly my age who only got married 2 months ago and now behaves like she is the queen of the world. All experts now! heh!

But hey, I am Haya. Haya who knows exactly how to strike back; women can ever be good enough, right? I know where to hit. "Aren't you pregnant yet?" I hit the one with no children yet. "when are you plannin on getting the boy" for the one with a girl child. "only one boy? you need to get him a brother" for those bitches with a son! I always manage to find a way to hit on their nerves.

Honetly, like every other woman, I dream of my wedding day, I dream of finding the right man who would love and cherish me for the rest of my life. That is hard to find these days due to different cultural and personal reasons that sometimes make no sense to me.

Anyway, recently I came up with some realizations that would help me increase my chances of finding the right man, I will do the following:

1. Drop my fear package: Throughout the years, I built this shield of not trusting men. Men have proved to me to be assholes over and over again, and thus, I have always let this barrier of mistrust to eat out from any potential relationship in the horizon and eventually killing it. If I am going to love someone, then I am going to love him fully - with no fears

2. Hit the gym: No matter how much we try to trick ourselves in believing that men do really appreciate our minds, it is always our bodies who they appreciate first! I will take a loan and subscribe at VY. There are many wealthy bachelors out there for me to target.

3. Read the book "why men marry bitches": It has always amazed me how those women who treated their boyfriends like garbage managed to get them to the alter! Me, being the nice girl, never managed to keep a man for more than 3 months!

4. Social butterfly: The more poeple I meet, the better chance of me meeting the right guy. Whether it is a wedding ceremony, a birthday party, or a cultural event, I will make sure to always be there. That is offline.

For the online, I will make sure to use the power of social networking. I will keep on updating my facebook account with pictures that I take on various events, I will write more here on this blog - if the observer allows me -, and I will be more active on twitter.

5. Expand the pool of *acceptable* husbands: If there are few single men older than me now, then why not looking out for younger? People would talk, but so what? It is becoming a trend anyway.

What else? help me out

Your's,
Haya

Social Hypocrisy

2009-06-27T10:36:00.004+03:00

It baffles me how many female friends/acquaintances have disappeared from my facebook friends' list. I don't take that personal as I know that it is always related to a new kind of relationship in that friend life - usually an official one like in engagement or marriage -.

Disabled facebook accounts, male friends' removal, or tightened privacy settings are not uncommon among Jordanian women when they engage in a serious relationship, actually it is becoming more of something that is expected! Why would a married woman keep male friends on her facebook list? We still can't think of people's relationships outside gender binaries, do we?

How many women are out there who have suspended their online social relations for the sake of their families? which is, in other words, to avoid problems that may arrise with their husbands. How many women are out there who do expect such behaviour from their men? and actually give them legitemacy by claiming that it is our culture. We can't break off it, can we?

How many men are out there who carry on such behaviour not because it does really threaten them, but because it is what they believe people expect from them, including their own wives? Would she lose respect of him if he didn't get mad over her facebook account? Maybe some would, and it may better to act the way they expect me to act, no?

Isn't it easier to just break off - even slightly - from social expectation? When will Jordanian women stop excusing men abusive behaviour under the name of our culture?

Jordan with no death sentence?

2009-06-26T00:07:00.003+03:00

There seems to be some efforts towards abolishing death sentence in Jordan. A small news was published today in al ra'ee newspaper about a session held about the matter between human rights activites, some officials and law people. In addition to that, there has been a reportage on Al Arabieh news channel tonight about the state of prisons in Jordan and death sentence.

In the reportage they mentioned that among the 8000 prisoner in Jordan, there is only around 250 woman. They then focused on women prisoners and interviewed some who are sentenced to death along with a femal offical from the prison who highlighted that most women who are charged of murder, have murdered their own husbands. One of the prisoners said that she stabbed her husband out of rage because he used to torture her. I felt that this is somehow a way to draw people's compassion towards such cases, and as the news host said: this matter is left in the hands of the government and the parliament.

I am personally against death sentence, no matter how horrible of an act one have done. It is a violation of the rights of human to live. Let's hope that these efforts are going in the right direction.

Jordanian bloggers and Twitter

2009-06-16T00:49:00.004+03:00

I have been using Twitter for sometime now and it is growing on me, especially that I barely have time to write full posts recently. I haven noticed some Jordanian bloggers with accounts on twitter but only few are partially active. Twitter has been a great tool for me to connect with many other arabian bloggers and social activites. They are also many Jordanians who even enjoy microblogging and are active on twitter without having a blog for their own.

Twitter is a great tool for us to share information and communicate with each other. I list the Jordanian bloggers whom I found their twitter accounts below:

@tarawnah @tololy, @RobaAssi @ramiar @mab3oos @jadmadi @humeid @razano @maliksoft @moeys @journalistoula @Qwaider @alidahmash @styloholic @7akifadi @lina18 @shagfeh @Farah654 @za3tar @sabbah

and I hope to see them more active, and to see some others joining in. In specific, I hope to see: Kinzi, Hareega, Devil's mind, Batir and Bam Bam

Please let me know if I have missed anyone, or point me to other Jordanian bloggers on Twitter to follow.

My 31, I mean 21 birthday

2009-06-16T00:08:00.002+03:00

I really miss this space. I miss this blog and miss the Jordanian blogsphere. I feel guilty for not being able to post here as much as I used before. I feel guilty partially because I can see that there are poeple who still come and check it out eventhough I haven't posted anything in the past 2 weeks, I feel guilty because even before that, and for around 3 months, I have barely blogged once a week. At some point, I was enjoying seeing my blog stats growing, but then again I failed to keep the momentom. I have been so busy lately, not just with my full time job, but also with Licky Licky (I will update you in a minute) and with another blog that I have been contributing to for a while. The other blog is about social media. I find it very interesting and challenging at the same time. I love that I have to research, learn and practice areas that develops my skills in something that is becoming the core of how people communicate these days. Check it out here: http://blog.thoughtpick.com

Anyway, it was my birthday today. I have been telling people since the morning that it is my 21th birthday but I can't fool you here. It is my 31th lovely birthday. I had one of my best birthdays. I had my close friends and family for a gathering at my house. We spent a great time, and guess what I got as a gift? mmmm, well, I asked for it a year and a half ago, and today I got it as a my birthday present: A nintendo Wii :) :). Although I love the feeling of maturity and more confidence that come with age, I also love the child inside me that keeps on growing. I like to play, laugh and enjoy life. With such people around me, I know that I am blessed.

As for Licky Licious update, I have learnt the hard way that it is hard to start a business without having time to follow it up. It has been a tough time for me and my business partner (my best friend) for the past year. We both carry a full time job, and we both cherish our social life. We had barely only few time to run the shop. It only took few months for our enthusiams to drawn. Although we had a good start and did a good job in building the look and feel and the service of the shop, we ended up not being able to keep up a good quality service. As a result we looked out for someone else to take over and hopefully to run it in a better way. They are now re-decorating the shop and will open back on wednesday. They will be offering some new products inluding crepe and better coffe options. They have also changed the ice cream supplier. Check it out in your next visit to the Rainbow street and let me know what you think.

The more age I put, the more I learn to enjoy life better. My 30 has been better than my 29 and I know that my 31 will be even better. I just hope to be able to have more time for this blog because it does really make me happy.

I want to thank everyone who sent me birthday wishes today, whether on facebook, twitter, sms, phone, or in person. I love you all.

And thanks mother for taking care of everything. Alla ya3teeke el 3afieh.

I am a happy man

2009-06-06T00:26:00.003+03:00

Sometimes, in special moments, when I am in euphoric state of mind, I feel that I am so happy and that happiness can be a constant state of mind that can be carried along one's entire life. Sometime, I wonder if being happy is a learning process where one, and with life experience, realizes what makes him happy and what eats from his happines, and as a result work on minimizing the effects of thing that makes him unhappy, and exposes himself more to things that make him happy.

Is it as simple as this? To know what to choose? Sometimes I believe that it is, but at other times, I let myself slip into the daily hectic activities of life, and end up losing focus and forgetting about the necessity of smart choices to keep up my level of happiness intact. I let stress in, I let my busy schedule tire me, and I let myself scatter my attention in different matters that are irrelevant.

I am the kind of person whose goal in life is to be happy and feel it spread among people around me. And yes, it is most imporant to me that many other things. Things that I keep on letting them messing up my priorities and focus.

Throughout my life, I have always managed to define myself as a happy man. I always knew that the question of: Are you have in your life? has a Yes answer to me. In the other hand, I have always wondered why some people around couldn't give the same answer. Is it a gift? a biological inherited advantage? or a wisdom that I have acquired since childhood? or maybe it is just a choice, or maybe a projection of internal fears force me to believe that I am happy?

Is happiness a wise choice? a learning process? a genetic inherited attribute? a destined faith? or a piece of all of it?

The shift towards being more religious, why?

2009-05-30T15:04:00.004+03:00

I don't know how strong is the relationship between the numbers of veiled women and the indication of a shift in society towards being more religious. Looking at pictures of Jordanian women in the 60's and 70's of last century one would certainly acknowledge the shift in dressing towards more conservatism. Our mothers used to go to Jordan universities wearing mini skirts without any fear of sexual harassments that today even some veiled women fear in our streets.

So what triggered such change? It is not specific to Jordan but also one can see it in the whole area of Arabian countries in the middle east. Egypt can be a better example of the dramatic change that took place. It is very clear and reflected in their film industry.

I have been hearing two explanation so far:

1. Some people claim that the othmanians left us in complete ignorance especially in matters related to religion and that people didn't really know Islam. Now we are better educated about our religion and thus know better how to follow its rules.

How true is this? Were Jordanians less religious in the 70s because they knew less about their religion? or were they no less religious than today but with a less cultural focus on women and what they dress?

2. Other people claim that due to the cold war and the competition between capitalism and communism, the USA lead a policy of supporting religion in the region so that to guarantee that ME countries won't turn into the communist atheist party. They clearly supported Islamists in different Arab and Islamic countries. They put a lot of their weight and power in supporting the mijaheddeen (fighters) in Afghanistan against the USSR. In jordan, the government even put our school curriculum in the hands of the Islamic party.

There is a third reasoning that I heard in Egypt where people rationalize the shift towards being more religious to the amount of Egyptians going to Saudi Arabia for work and coming back to their country with the wahhabi mentality. Some also claim that Saudi Arabia Wahhabi's, being very rich, are using their money to preach their own way of thinking. This is also clear in Jordan, I am not sure whether it is wahhabi's or not, but religious in-house classes have been popluar for some years now. I have seen some young men taking the leap of faith and turning into more strict reglious people in little time.

I am not a religious person myself, and while there are aspects that came with the current religious wave that scare me, I can say nothing about people's choice of faith. It is just sad when you realize that such major trend that affected an entire nation has been built by foreign hands for their own interest in the region! Real education may be our way out, not out of being religious, but out of following up blindly what others preach as being a true religion. There must be a way to guarantee our individual freedoms with the blessing of our belief system. Islam has been so progressive when it came to us, it can do it again.

I wish I can reach out my hand to Laila, Mariam and Aziza!

2009-05-24T22:58:00.005+03:00

** spoilers a thousand splendid suns

khaled al Hosseini has just managed to make me cry again. I had to stop now at the moment where Laila was letting go of her daughter Aziza because of the famine. I feel so much anger and rage inside of me. Anger for the injustice those women had to endure because of the stupidity of men. They are no fictional characters, I can see their suffering reflected on many women in the history of humanity in a way or another.

I wish I was there to hug both Laila and Aziza, to hug also Mariam, and maybe Nana (Laila's mother). 3 generation of women suffering at the hand of man for different reasons. One being a maid who got pregnant by her master and then having to pay for it for the rest of her life by raising up a so called bastard. And then the so called young bastard girl who had to pay for her parents mistake the whole of her life, being forced to marry a much older man at the age of 14 in order to get rid of her!

And then comes Laila, the beautiful young girl whose life turned upside down when her parents got killed in a missile that hit their own house, she woke up in a house of a stranger, the same man who is married to Mariam. With no way out because of the war, and with a child in her womb herself (the child she gives away later on!) from the man who she adored and whom also died because of the war, she agrees to be the second wife and pass on her daughter as his.

How many women are their in this world who has been forced to protect their children this way? What kind of justice is this where the only way to protect your child is by passing him on as another's man child? What kind of justice is there in this world when a woman gives away her own daughter because she can't feed it? and what kind of justice is there when you are called a bastard for something you have nothing to do with?!!

When would men stop abusing women?!! Really?!!

Horror films make women less feminine! A jordanian newspaper claims!

2009-05-16T11:24:00.006+03:00

While it is hard for a lot people to imagine a genderless human being - which exist -, it is as hard for Arabs to imagine a genderless objects due to the nature of the Arabic language that genderlizes objects. There is no "it" in Arabic, we only have a he and a she. Nearly everything can be defined as either to be masculine or feminine depending usually on the ending of the word: those with 'ah' at the end are defaulted to be feminine, and those without it tend to be masculine!

With such a language heritage, it comes to no surprise the strong emphasize on gender roles in the Arab societies, and while it is impossible to attach every single object to females or males based on its own gender, sometimes people subconsciously do the attachmenet and build on it. For instance a spoon in arabic (mel3akah) is feminine but it cannot be explicit for females usage only! In the other hand, a flower (wardah) which has other feminine attributes such as being delicate and soft is strongly attached to females.

The rigid apply of gender roles on both sexes where masculinity and femininity come as a based for classification usually triggers some awkward situations that limit the behaviour of both men and women in our society. The other day, and while reading the daily Al Ra'ee newspaper, an article about horror movies caught my attention.

The article highlights how Jordanian women are getting more interested in horror movies. It is written in a way that shows the issue as a strange phenomena in Jordan where women are behaving in a way that should be limited to men! The writer comes with a mentality that can't see how *fragile delicate feminine* creatures like women can betray their own gender and watch films that are full of violence and horror. Ofcourse different absurd reasons came up in the article such as that Jordanian women are forced to watch these movies because it is usually their brothers who take control of the remote control and they are who decide upon what to watch and what not! and so helpless Jordanian girls just sit down and watch their brothers choices of violent horror films!

To make it worse, it follows the guidlines of researched articles we are used to from such a newspaer, it goes further into consulting a social professional in the matter whom with his so called expertise condemn the phenomena and warns Jordanian women of losing their femininity by watching such films! (bullshit!)

The article even shows statistics! It claims that 14% of women who watch horror films on a regular basis suffer from lack of femininity! I wonder who is the genious behind those numbers! Really? How do *science* people conduct their research in this country?

It is not uncommon to read such articles who claim a scientific credibility by caughting a so called professional in our newspapers. I wonder whether the problem lies in the writers of those articles or in the professionals in this country who seem to be detached from what real science has achieved around the globe.

Isn't it time for people to come up and complain when they catch a lie in a newspaper? We have an arabic saying: El saket 3an el 7a2 shitan akhras (The one who doesn't stand up for justice is a silent devil). Newspaper writers should start hold accountability for what they write and take responsiblity for it.

The maid, the magic and my friend

2009-05-11T22:03:00.003+03:00

It is funny how you spend a lot of time with a person and suddenly get surprised about a way of thinking or a certain belief in his head. Yesterday, my mother's friend travelled to the US and she left her Filipino maid at our house. The girl is nice, but I don't feel comfortable of the way she looks at me. She keeps on giving me some eye contact with a blushed smile!

I think she is hitting on me! I told my friend at work, who in return decided to tell me the story of their Indonisian maid. According to him, she tried to pull magic on him, a magic that would make him fall in love with her! The details is a bit disgusting - don't read it you are oversensitive -. What she intended to do, which is accoding to another indonisian girl, is to have a drop of blood from her premenstrual into his coffe. That is how she would cast a spell on him to fall in love with her! He said that this magic is common among Indonisians! Be careful guys! :P

Are you kidding me? Do you believe in magic? That was my reaction! The more that I find myself detached from imaginary stuff, the more I project it on people around me, and the more I got surprised. Is there many people in the 21th century with all of the scientific advancements who still believe in magic?! I really want to know!

What was really laughable is that as much as I was surprised of knowing that this educated smart 26 years old man believe in magic, as much as he was surprised of me not believing in it! He was like "You are the only person on earth who doesn't believe in magic"! Oh really? Am I?

To prove his point, he mentioned Moses and the Pharos. It is mentioned in the Quran he said. So that is where it came from? Now seriously, regardless of how religious a person is or not, how much one can really take from religion and still be on the same side at this point of time where nearly everything can be explained scientifically? Some people are smart enough to reason different teachings in their religion in a way or another and dismiss what doesn't make sense.

Is magic still part of people's today religious belief? That really makes me wonder!

Queen Rania twitters the Pope!

2009-05-08T20:15:00.006+03:00

Isn't Queen Rania the coolest Queen ever?

First she establishes herself as a stylish elegant highly regarded Queen among the world leaders, then she creates a youtube channel to address the stereotypes against Arabs in the west and try to open a dialogue among the two sides, then she APPEARS on Oprah and gives a great interview and impressions about Jordan, and now she seizes the change of the Pope's visit of to Jordan to start her twitter account that instantly became an industry news that would give a bigger volume to the visit and to Jordan as a country.

We can listen now to 140 character wisdom messages from our Queen. A great tool for the leaders of the 21th century to use and build on. Well done Queen Rania, we are so proud of you, really so so proud :)

Following are some of her wise tweets of today:

@QueenRania: Reminder of how special this land is- where our 3 beloved Prophets carried the message of moderation, tolerance, and peace.

@QueenRania: Just listened to Pope's speech. Our region so needs a message of Peace.

@QueenRania: Pope moved by young people’s excitement. Inspired to be in the cradle of the major religions. Eager for people to rise above divisions.

"Our region so needs a message of Peace" yes indeed! With such leadership... I really have high hopes!

Toyota + Police = Brilliant Traffic Awarness Ad Campaign

2009-05-03T18:22:00.006+03:00

Toyota and in association with local traffic police in Jordan launched a brilliant traffic awarness ad campaign. The signs of the campaign is all over the city in Amman. Everyone can see those yellow - traffic like - new signs with some guidelines. The campaign is meant to raise awareness and support those who drive in a responsible manner. They state that there will be people (I guess policemen) who would monitor traffic, and if they find you driving in a good responsible way, then they will take your name and give you a chance to win a Toyota Yaris by the end of this campaign.

This is a brilliant move from Toyota, a campaign that adds a social value and that portrays Toyota as a responsible company towards the Jordanian local community. I salute Toyota and hope other companies to think in the same line of this ad campaign in their future advertisements.

I couldn't find the Ad online or a link to an article talking about it. Please point it out if you have read it or seen it anywhere online. Thanks :)

Swine flu and pimping one's sister!

2009-05-02T00:12:00.003+03:00

I guess that it takes a disaster to reveal major issues of ignorance and intolerance in a society.

Few months ago, during the Israeli war of Gaza there was a circulation of emails, blogs, micro-blogs and text messages cheering up for Hitler's holocaust against the Jews. As disturbing as it has been the massacre taking place in Gaza for me, it was even more disturbing the intolerance hate speech spread among people whom I considered to be well educated, tolerant and open minded. I couldn't find any reasonable justification for cheering up to a racist dictator like Hitler who classified people's nations into superior and inferior ones even if he mass murdered a group of people whom we consider their descendents to be an enemy for us.

Today, with the swine flu spreading, I learnt about another disturbing common belief between some Muslims in Jordan. It sadly came out of the tongue of a close friend of mine "Men who eat pork don't feel jealousy towards their wives, that is why Christian men let their wives go out wearing revealing clothes!"

I still can't comprehend the amount of ingorance in this statement. Obviously it is built on an irrational common belief that eating pork copies some of the pigs characteristics to the one eating it. They claim that male pigs doesn't react when watching his female having sex with another male and thus eating pork would make a man careless about his wife's sexual affairs! (I am not an expert in animal matters, but would you people help pointing out which animals care and which don't?). For Jordanian Christians, I know that such claim is very offensive. It steps on honor which is very sensitive cord that is common among both Muslims and Christians in Jordan. I won't emphasize on the honor notion here as you know how I regard our cultural definition of honor, but the fact that this statment shows a general condescending moral attitude is disturbing.

The truth is that Islam forbades eating pork and requires Muslim women to wear veils while Christianity doesn't forbade eating pork and doesn't impose veils on Christian women. As a result of the veil Islamic restriction, Jordanian Christian women may have enjoyed less restrictions on clothes (which may not be true except for the veil part). On the other hand Muslims have always had a rational explanation of why Islam forbade eating pork - which is because it can cause serious health issues. They also state that pigs are filthy animals because they eat their shit. That is fine as well. But the claim of copied behaviour and linking it to jealousy is quite a stretch!

A doctor friend of mine told me a story about a mother who had her son in a very bad condition at the hospital. He needed a medication that contains some substances taken from pigs. The mother refused giving him the medication stating that if they give it to him, he would grow up pimping his sisters and that she won't take that chance! We sadly value honor more than life, don't we? I don't know if the boy survived or not, but isn't this a weird form of honor crimes?

Apparantly this common belief does have a religious base. I watched a video featuring a Sheikh on a religious channel talking about this matter. He claimed that people who eat pork acquire some pig's characteristics. He even went further into claiming that people who eat a lot of pork do tend to look like pigs as they grow old! My friend claims that their is a hadith that says so, but I doubt it.

Islam is a religion of tolerance and knowledge, it helped in setting the grassroot for one of the most important civilization of the human history. Critical thinking has been one of its major pillars that provided a much needed catalyst for the development of human race at that point of time. I don't know why people today ignore the importance of critical thinking and follow blindly rumors, lies and myths.

Inspite of our cultural perception of the dirtiness and ugliness of pigs, I happen to find them really cute creatures. They certainly look better than hens and sheeps, no?

Cross-dressers

2009-05-01T10:06:00.004+03:00

There is no red line in our society that matches the one drawn to highlight the seperation of gender roles. Men and women, simple binary entities that simplifies all the diversity of humans nature into two templates. Only two that are hard to fit by many. It is even worse when it comes to the classification of these simple two templates; one is superior than the other. Men enjoy the upper hand. They ought to emphasize on different superior attributes (strength, intelligence, education, ...etc) in order to fill their gender role.

So what happens when someone's nature fail to fit with those guidlines? What happens when someone blurs the lines between between gender roles and mess up with one of the major parts of which we define our gender identities - our clothes?

Hell break loose! no?

What really happens is that most people fail to realize the natural diverse aspect of human beings and lump it under mental disorder category.

It is worth noting that I am not talking here about homosexuals who blur gender roles in a different way. I am emphasizing on another group of people who blur the line of gender roles based on their choice of clothes rather than their sexual orientation.

I know that we tend to lump everything that we are unfamiliar with under the same category - queerness -. Many people - falsely - percieve homosexuals as cross-dressers and cross dressers as homosexuals. In reality: The great majority of cross-dressers are biological males, most of whom are sexually attracted to women. (this is taken from the american psychological association website - read further here)

Now that we no that most cross-dressers are straight men, does that help in making them fit our unique men template?

Ofcourse not, they fail in one of the prerequisites.

While the american psychological association tells us as well that cross-dressing is not a mental disorder, a lot of people tend to maintain their constructed inherited structure of false rigidity of gender roles and judge cross dressers as mentally ill people.

We tend to play experts. It is no uncommon for us to judge any unfamiliar behaviour to be a mental illness. "He is sick, or she is sick" may be one of the most used Jordanian terms. People are sick - this is also common - in our own definition of equating sickness to weirdness.

Would we ever realize the diverse nature of human beings? and would we ever learn that being weird doesn't necessary being bad? I know that the internet opened the door for us, we may find a hard time at the beginning to capture unfamiliar things, but we all know that with time weird things become normal.

How on earth can we live togather?

2009-04-23T08:35:00.004+03:00

The most recent science tells us that unless we can reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to 350 parts per million, we will cause huge and irreversible damage to the earth.

I don't know why, but I have always had dead ears when it came to environment issues. Either browsing online or reading an article in newspaper, I used to always skip-it when the title is merely close to the subject of environment or climate. I am not sure whether this a general problem in this part of the world where people don't realize it as a real threat because they deal with other threats they percieve to be more important, or it is just me being unaware of it.

For me, things has changed in Alexandria, when Carl Mossfeldt from Tallberg foundation presented the damage we are inflicting on our environment and the threats that are heading to our way because of the effect of climate changes.

It was an eye opener for me. I have never really realized the dangers that climte change entails. I have heard about ice melting and the increase of sea levels, but thought that it is happening NOW! I have witnesses the Tsunami couple of years ago on news channels, but didn't connect it with us damaging the environment. I have heard about the conflictn darfur, but didn't realize that the main cause of it is drawft where people moved from a place to another ending up fighting over limited resources.

There are threats of environment changes all over the world, and all of us are interdependent. Jordan is one of the lowest countries in the world in term of water resources. Water conflicts is a major threat in this area.

I may not be the best person to talk about these issues, even after the presentation, my information are still very limited. I just want to share Tallberg foundation and 350.org with you. I wanted to do so yesterday in the Day of Earth but I didn't have time for that.

350 is an initiative to help building a global movement to fight climate crisis. Read more on their website www.350.org

One thing that I would like mention, it is the words of Queen Rania at Tallberg event 'How on earth can we live togather' in 2007, she mentioned how sad it is the we are breaking apart at the time we really need to work togather.

Tallberg is preparing a Rework the world event in Sweden next year. It is an open initiative to boost viable ventures that drive sustainability and create green jobs. People with idea and projects along those lines can apply to attend the event. Check out their website for more information

Measurments of freedom of expression

2009-04-18T10:03:00.005+03:00

It never seize to amaze me how we always manage to busy ourselves in discussing the 'measurments' of freadom of speech whenever the issue is brought. We are smart-asses, aren't we? When there are measurments, then we can always fit our freedom of speech to our own needs.

On the last day of the follow up meeting of the YLVP in Alexandria, we had a press conference at the Swedish Institute to communicate what we have been doing to the Egyptian press. After introducing ourselves and giving a brief information about the YLVP program, the Swedish Ambassador Tommy opened the door for questions.

Most of the questions were friendly. They asked about the program, our projects and the netwrok. One journalist, whom according to Wael Abbas, works for the governments' official newspaper asked: Did you have any discussion about the measurments of freedom of speech in your program? because as we all know, you have picked Wael Abbas, who is an Egypatian blogger that is known of his dirty language.

Wael answered him in a firm angry tone: When you live under a dictator regime, you don't discuss freedom measurments, you discuss freedom itself.

In truth, Wael does use a dirty language in his posts. He usually curse and swear public officials and even Hossni Mobarak himself. He rationalize it of using the common language that most of us use in our daily interactions in the streets - which is very true -. While I may not use such language in my writings, I respect Wael's choices of practicing his expression freedoms.

I was impressed by the level of freedom of expression allowed for the Egyptian press. This is one thing that bloggers managed to snatch and help mainstream media to fill. They really pushed up their freedoms. One taxi driver rationalized it that the regime had to allow this in order to avoid a people's burst because of the great pressure they face on a daily basis.

In Jordan, we have been talking about *responsible* freedom of expression for a long time now. Shouldn't we just drop all of those vocabularies and focus on the freedom of expression itself?

Cairo Hotels!

2009-04-14T08:18:00.003+03:00

One of the things one should do before heading to Cairo is booking in a good hotels. This is a lesson that I had to learn by myself.

On our way back from Alexandria to Cairo and while stucking in the traffic at the entrance of the city, we started looking into the city guide my lebanese friend has with her for a good hostel to stay in the night. We started with budget-cost ones, calling one by one myself didn't work - all places near the downtown were full. We then tried some mid-range and even 5 stars hotel, all said fully-booked! Finally, I asked my lebanese friend to call herself one of the mid-range hostels, I thought that in an Arabic country, a lebanese female voice may get us better results, don't you agree? Actually that is exactly what happened! She only called once, and that's it, we got a 3 rooms in a hostel in the downtown. Whether it was a pure luck from her side or not, we'll never know.

Anyway, we dragged our bags around 8:00PM at the crowded midtown of Cairo to Carlton Hotel which lies at the top of an old building. It costed us around 20$ per night including breakfast and dinner. The rooms were clean, but a little bit smelly. We didn't have the dinner but went down for the breakfast.

Here goes the best part about this post.

While sitting there on our breakfast table, the waiter, which is an egyptian old man wearing a tarboosh and doshdasheh, with a very grumpy look on his face, brought us a cup with tea and nescafe bags. He then asked us firmly: Tea or Coffe? We said: Tea. He picked up the nescafe bag and went away!

We, on the other hand, started our research for a 5 stars hotel and ended up paying 220$ for a night at Shepard Hotel at the nile which actually didn't really have that much better service. The rate didn't include breakfast, and when we went down to have ours, a female waiter, with full red face (make-up!), approached us. What is your room number? We gave it to her. She checked. In an angry voice she said: Your rate doesn't include breakfast! "Yes, we know" we told her. "Ok, you'll pay 210 pounds (around 30$)" She said and left!

and we complain about service in Jordan!

Misr ba2at asya awi 3ala ahlaha

2009-04-11T11:12:00.003+03:00

OMG! I really miss blogging! I have been in Egypt the past week for a follow up meeting for the young leaders visitors programme with the Swedish Institute. We stayed in Alexandria for the first 4 days of the meeting and then we went to cairo for free two days. In Alexandria I couldn't help my self but to compare the image I had in my mind of the city from the famous Arabic musical film 'Abi Fauk al shajara' (Dad on the tree) to its current state.

I stayed at Cecil hotel, which lies next to the park where Abed Al Haleem ran at the beginning of the film to catch up with his girl friend, both of them running to the beach, wearing only their swim suits, singing and dancing with their friends to celebrate the coming of the summer vacation.

That was around 40 years ago, the repeated song and beautiful scenary from the film got shattered in my mind while walking down the streets of Alexandria, instead a protective state of mind occupied me while roaming the streets of Alexandria with my female friends. Poverty and sexual frustration prevailed. The beautiful light spirit of the Egyptians sounded like a myth for me looking at the grumpy face of men in the streets. Alexandria's women all covered up with heavy clothes and long veil that covers the area down to their shoulders. Dull colors of clothes and hardship of movement, a faded smile, and worrisome. An image of a sobbing woman at the stairs of Alexandria's court comes up in my mind. Another image of us concerned for our friend Maha who felt like crossing the street and had a cigarette on the beach by herself while we were having lunch and watching her from the window of the hotel restaurant so that to be able to run and protect her if anyone sexually harrassed her. In Alexandria these days, such stand would be translated as a provocative act from her part.

'Alexandria used to be a beautiful city', the taxi driver told me. He said that 40% of its residents used to be foreigners before the revolution. The revolution leaders changed everything, including the names of the streets. Older people in the city know how beautiful Alexandria has been.

Street sexual harassement is a big issue in Egypt. Most women are veiled these days and they still don't feel safe walking in the streets alone. Wael Abbas, a ylvp participant and a famous Egyptian blogger, was from the very first people talking about the issue and helping in gaining the attention of formal media outlets to talk about it.

Poverty and sexual frustration are not the only problems Egyptians seem to suffer from. Officals and policemen corruption seem to be also a major concern. I have witnessed myself a taxi driver bribing a policeman so that he won't withdraw his driving licence. Wael has also brought the attention of people in Egypt and the world to the torture happening in Egyptian jails through several videos he posted on his blog. 3 policemen was sentenced to 3 months in prison as a result. It is a terrible thing when the people who suppose to help you are the same people who abuses you and violate your rights. Wael says 'People in Egypt today fear policemen more than they fear theives'!

He himself suffered from such corruption two days ago when his policeman neighbout attacked him in his own house for a stupid internet problem and hit him and his mother. He lost a teeth and had several bruises. He filed a complaint to the police department. Let's hope he gets some justice.

While 'Misr ba2at asya awi 3ala ahlaha' (Egypt became so hard on its people) Hind Sabri said it in Yacoobian building film, Egyptians still say 'Misr om el donia' (Egypt is the mother of the world) - a common Egyptian phrase -. As hard as life seem to be for the Egyptians, Cairo never sleeps, and despite all the hectic and traffic, people spend their nights in coffe shops chatting and smoking shisha.

Will Misr be easier on its people? Will a brighter future emerge for those people? I certainly have much hope in my young Egyptian friends. Misr needs change, a major one....

The kiter runner touching moments

2009-03-29T10:51:00.005+03:00

** The Kite runner spoiler **

I cried... I couldn't hold my tears while reading different moments of the story. Injustice blows me always! I cried for Hassan when he got raped for standing up to Amir. I cried when Amir's father got diagnosed of cancer. I cried for Sohrab's attempt to suicide. I cried for Hassan's loyalty and his devotion. I cried for the slavery unjust life he had to carry. I cried for the cruelty of humanity and the racism we carry in our hearts. A hazara, a shiite, it wasn't worse in Afghanistan than it is in Jordan today. Different forms of slavery, no? Poor Syrilankis and Eygptians for us, each one of them reminds me of Hassan, and the tough life he had to carry (with a smile!).

At moments, I wanted to grab the pen of Khaled Al Husseni and draw my own lines. That rape scene was so frustrating, where for a moment, I wanted to put in my own hands and push Amir to take action, not only for Hassan, but also for his own sake as well. I don't know really who suffer the most out of that scene, Hassan for actually getting raped, or Amir for the guilt he carried over his shoulder for the rest of his life. I know that I have lived Amir's guilt throughout the story. I also still have a feeling of bitterness because of the sequence of events that didn't allow Amir and Hassan to meet again. Sohrab may, at the end, became a sort of condolences to Amir, but that is not enough of a happy ending to me.

As Khaled Al Husseni said, life is not a Hindi movie. At the end, we usually don't even know what to classify the outcome of the events of our lives. Good and bad moments come in different set of choices and out of hand events. Injustice, for instance, comes in different forms, whether it is human instinctive fear of rejecting the other, like in the horrible massacre of mazar al sharif, or maybe it comes from lack of actions like the day Amir stood still watching his best friend gets raped infront of his eyes, or even uncalculated mistake like the one Amir did when he told Sohrab that he has to put him in an orphanage for sometime in order to be able to take him to the USA, which resulted in Sohrab's suicide attempt.

There was a moment where I wanted to scream out. Don't stone those adulterers!!! It amazes me how inhumanly humans can really act! I was horrified when I learnt about Assef's buying of little children! I cheered out when Sohrab hit him on his eyes. I wanted to take a knife and cut his throat as well so that he never does it to anyone else.

At the end, the book left me with sadness about the current situation in Afghanistan. 40 years ago, it sounded like a life in west amman. A liberal non-practice muslim father drinking in his own house and discussing religious teaching with his son. The worrisome of what a religious extremist ruling would do to this country is not uncommon in the Jordanian liberal community. It also made me think of how messed up this world can be! The USA, the country who supported the mojahideen in their war against communism, is the same country who hosted the Afghani refugees in the story, and the same country who is fighting Taliban right now in Afghanistan! Power plays change with time, and poor people live to pay the price! This work is a work of fiction, but it may be the closest to the truth than any news we have watched on TV.

The only thing that "The Kite Runner" misses is a stronger presence of women, but it is okay, Khaled seems to address that in his next novel "A Thousand Splendid Suns".

No honor in killing - "Online initiative"

2009-03-25T12:51:00.003+02:00

Some Jordanian women are starting an online initiative for a public campaign to stop the so called honor crimes. Deema put it down on Roba's blog as following:

“To answer your question, a few of us have been trying to do something about so-called honour crimes. The initiative is still in it’s early phases, but we are brainstorming the different ways and approaches to tackle the issue. I added the link to the googledoc we have been working on as my url (although we are changing the name of the initiative from la sharaf fil qatil to la sharaf fil jareemah). As it is meant to be a public initiative, anyone with ideas and suggestions is welcome to join in on our brainstorming session (although i think you will have to email one of us first to gain access).
We can’t just wait around for someone with a magic wand to wisk it all away. we will have to do something about this ourselves, out of our personal time and effort. because ‘wearing makeup’ should not be an excuse for murder. Not in Jordan

Check out the google document linked in the comment above.

Thank you Kinzi for giving me the idea of sharing this.

Stop Crimes Against Women

2009-03-24T09:44:00.003+02:00

Following is the letter I sent to different Jordanian media outlets pleeding for them to take a stand againt honor cirmes.

In reference to the latest hate crime reported on Jordan times magazine for a young Jordanian woman who have been beated to death by her father, brother and her unclie for wearing makeup and designated as an “honour crime”, I would like
to call all of you to stand up to such barbarian inherited law that doesn't fit with the modern and civilised stucture of Jordan's face.

It is time for our local media, whether it is printed or online, to stand up to their responsibilities towards Jordanian citizens. It is time for you all to raise up your voices and lobby to abolish such retarded law. We awe it to ourselves, to our mothers, to our daughters and to our wives, we ought to provide them with
dignity, equality, and safety. No Jordanian woman should fear the prosecution of a male relative. No man should get away with murder under the name of honor.

Jordan is calling you to help cleaning her face from those
dishonored crimes. We won't tolerate any other murder that we know is coming. We carry a huge shame for what happens in this country, and we ask you all to act, to stop this insanity.

Read the story here: http://www.jordantimes.com/?news=15267

Best Regards,
The Observer

كل عام و انتي بخير ماما

2009-03-21T22:10:00.003+02:00

لا ادري ان كانت امي ستتفاجاة عند قراءة هذا المقال, ام انها تتوقع مني اهداء مقال لها في عيد الام. اعلم انها كل ليلة, تنتظر بلهفة ساعة النوم, فتحمل كمبيوتري المحمول الى سريرها و تبحر في عالم الانترنت. تبدأ من مدونتي, ثم بريدها الالكتروني, و ثم تنسى نفسها لساعات من موقع لموقع تقرأ عن اخبار البلد و اراء الناس.

احب لهفة امي للانترنت, قبل عدة اشهر لم تكن تعرف التعامل مع الانترنت, اليوم لديها بريد الكتروني, صفحة فيس بوك, و تتابع المدونات! احيانا تبدو كالمدمنة فلا تعرف النوم قبل جولتها الليلية لدرجة انها قبل شهر عند عودتي من لبنان سألتني اين اللابتوب قبل ان تقول لي الحمدالله على السلامة.

هيهيهي, مرت الان على غرفتي و قالت لي " بس تخلص جبلي اياه, مش مضطرة كثير!" تبين لي انها تريده بطريقة لطيفة

في الحقيقة فأنا افرح لرؤية امي تحب شيء بهذا الشكل. قبل عامين كنت قلقا عليها, فقد بدأت اثار بعض الاكتئاب عليها بعد اشهر من التقاعد. ازدادت هواجسها و قلقها في تلك الفترة, اما اليوم فهي تبدو في حال افضل. تبدو اجتماعية اكثر, و تتغنى بلحظات فرح اكثر بفضل اولاد اختي.

احتار احيانا بحب امي للحياة, فاحيانا تراها تحب المعرفة و التعلم, و احيانا تراها متشائمة, تدعي انه لم يبقى من العمر مثل ما مضى مع انها في اوائل الخمسينات, اذكرها انها قد تعيش مثلهم و اكثر فلا تقتنع. بينما تبدو بصحة جيدة هي و ابي, الحمدالله, فاني اقلق الرؤية علامات العمر عليهم و اتمنى لو انهم يصغون لدعواتي اليهم لممارسة الرياضة. احزن عندما اراها تصعد الدرج بصعوبة بينما تستطيع الشعور فعشرة اعوام اصغر لو بدأت بممارسة الرياضة

من الاشياء الجميلة التي احبها في امي هي علاقتها بأبي, فهم متزوجون منذ 31 عام. طبعا لا يوجد شخصين بعلاقة من غير بعض الخلافات الشخصية, و لكن خلافاتهم لاتذكر بجانب قدر الحب بينهما, فهما الى اليوم يظهرون مشاعر دافئة كما لو انهم تعرفوا على بعض للتو. كعصافير حب, تكتئب عند سفره, و هو لايستطيع الابتعاد عنها. علاقتهم جعلتني اؤمن بحب واحد ابدي, طبعا كان ذلك قبل ان اقع في الحب لعدة مرات, و لكني اليوم مازلت اومن بالعلاقات الطويلة, اومن بالعلاقات الابدية, و اومن بالسعادة و الحب الابدي, فانا اراه و اعيشه

امي جميلة, اريدها ان تعيش حياتها بفرح اكثر, و اتمنى ان لا تضيع لحظات فرحها بالقلق علي و على ابي و اخواني و اي شيء اخر

كل عام و انتي بخير ماما

10 in the evening on Dream Tv: Dr. Ahmed Zewail

2009-03-19T08:43:00.004+02:00

In rare moments, I feel flying high in the sky for achieving something I am proud of. There is a euphoria in creating something that give a humble feeling of satisfaction. For me, I must know only a femto fraction of the feeling that is reflected on Dr. Ahmed Zewail face when he created something that has never existed before in human history, or shall I say the world's history.

In 1999, Dr. Ahmed Zewail was awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for his pioneering developments in femtoscience, which made it possible to observe atoms in motion.

Recently, he built on his work in femtoscience to develop a (4D) ultrafast electron microscope. To simplify things here - as I understand it -: Before such development, we only could take still pictures of human cells. That was good to diagnose whether a cell is healthy or not, but it wasn't possible to track the movements of proteins - for instance - and moniter the behaviour of different molecules so that to find out what causes each particle to behave in a such way. The 4D microscope, and for the first time in human history, allows us to take video shots of what goes inside human cells. It is a breakthrough in science, one that opens the door for many many discoveries. It is like a door that is opened, and now we can peek in and figure out what has been going on.

One of the very interesting things Dr. Ahmed Zewail mentioned in the episode, is how Gordon Moore, the founder of Intel Corporation, donated 600 million dollar to Caltech and specified that the money should only be utilized to support innovative unconventional research that can find difficulties in securing any governmental funding. It is really amazing learning about the dedication of such people to science and humanity. Dr. Ahmed Zewail approached Gordon Moore and asked him for 20 million dollar to fund his research. Today, we have the 4D miscroscope!

Ofcourse part of the episode focused on highlighting the Egyptian origins of Dr. Ahmed Zewail and what does it mean to him working in America while declaring his origins proudly. It is something people would want to hear and reflect a kind of inferiority complex that the Arab nations carry towards the West in general. In truth, and while we, as a nation, would always be able to produce up-notch scientific individuals like Dr. Zewail, the reality of our scientific research and development situation is embarrassing at most.

I just hope for a day when the universities in the Arab world carry part of the human discoveries and contributes to the advancements of the human nations. When did science stopped to matter to us?

هل تقتل الشعوب العربية حريتها المتاحة على الانترنت؟

2009-03-13T11:18:00.003+02:00

يبدو ان الحرية التي اتيحت للشعوب العربية في فضاء الانترت جاءت بشكل مفاجىء, لم يتيح للبعض استيعاب ماذا يعني ان يكون هنالك اشخاص مختلفين يعيشون بيننا و يصرحون عما يجول في عقولهم دون خوف او تردد. لسنوات عدة, تعودت المجتمعات العربية اتباع خطوط عريضة تححدها ملامح الاكثرية في المجتمع و لا تدع مجال للاختلاف, فأي اختلاف يصنف في خانة الشذوذ, و الشذوذ مرفوض لانه يعني صعوبة فرض قواعد محددة تفرض على الجميع, فكيف تحكم شعبا كل فردا من افراده يتصرف بطريقة مختلفة؟ فأضحى كل ذي اختلاف يخبئه و اصبحنا نسخا عن بعض في الظاهر, نتلاعب بالاقنعة و نحترف التمثيل. اذا ابتليتم فاستتروا! ثقافة عربية تصطدم بواقع الانترنت و تتعارض مع الغريزة البشرية في حب المعرفة والفضول

طبعا,مع ظهور المجتمعات الالكترونية, و بغياب سلطة الحكومة في تقييد حريات هذه المجنمعات و حرية افرادها الشخصية على مواقعهم الالكترونية الخاصة, ظهرت مجموعة من الناس تنادي بما تعودنا عليه من اسكات و اخضاع ما لا يتفق مع ما *تعودنا عليه*. تعودنا عليه هنا تعود الى ما تعود عليه الشخص, و هنا يكون عادة المفهوم العام لعاداة الشعب دون ادنى اعتبار للاختلافات الفردية. فالديمقراطية بالمفهوم العام هو حكم الاغلبية, و للأسف عندما تكون هنالك اغلبية لا تعي او تحترم حقوق الفرد, فأن حقوق الاقليات الاساسية تسلب. و بينما يطبق هذا المبدأ العام على الاقليات التقليدية من عرق او دين او جنس مختلف, فنراه على الشبكة يتطبق على الاراء المختلفة. فمثلا قويدر - منظم اثنين من اهم تجمعات المدونات الاردنية - يدعو الناس للتصويت لاخراج المدونات التي لا تتوافق مع ذوق الاغلبية في هذا المجتمع الالكتروني

وهنالك اشخاص كأسامة الرمح يستفزه الاختلاف بالشكل الخارجي لبعض الاشخاص. فكيف يجرؤ شخص على ارتداء شيء لم نتعود رؤيته؟ الم نتعود ان يشبه الجميع بعضهم البعض؟

على نفس المنوال بدأت مجموعة من المدونيين بحملة ضد المثلية الجنسية. فالاختلاف كما قلنا مرفوض بشكل عام, فكبف يكون عندما يتناول موضوع الجنس الذي هو مقيد اصلا للاغلبية المغايرة؟ طبعا طبيعة عالم اليوم و الحرية المتاحة على الانترنت اليوم ساعدت المثليين جنسياعلى التجمع و الظهور في المجتمعات العربية. هذا الظهور المفاجىء للسطح فسر انه انتشار للمثلية بمفهوم المرض المعدي, فاضحى الناس يتساءلون عن الاسباب و يرتابون من *العدوى*.

في الحقيقة فأن المثلية الجنسية ليست مرض معدي, و لا هي مرضا نفسيا اصلا كما يردد البعض, فالاتجاه العام لعلماء النفس حول العالم هو اعتبار المثلية الجنسية ميول جنسية طبيعية. طبيعية هنا لا تعني انها متوارثة جينيا, فتكون الميول الجنسية لم يعرف كبف بعد سواء المثلية او المغايرة, بل تعني انها ليست مرضا و لا تؤثر على حياة الشخص الصحية بأي شكل من الاشكال

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يستعملون مصطلح الفطرة, و يدعون ان المثلية تخالف الفطرة التي خلقها الله في الانسان. بغض النظر عن ايماني بخالق او لا, فان الفرض السابق بعيد كل البعد عن الحقيقة, فالناس مختلفة في نواح عدة, و فطرة شخص تختلف عن اخر. هنالك اشخاص مفطورون (اذا اردنا استخدام نفس المصطلح) على نفس الجنس, هل عليهم ان يخالفون فطرتهم؟

يدعون ان دافعهم هو التوعية و الامر بالمعروف و النهي عن المنكر و هو واجب ديني لهم الحق في تلبيته, ولكني استغرب, فانا ارى هنالك عاداة عدة تمارس من قبل افراد المجتمع بشكل يومي و تخالف الدين دون ان ارى اشخاص يقومون بحملات عليهم. فمثلا يا ترى ماذا قد تكون رأي المجتمع الارني اذا ابتدأ مجموعة من الناس حملة ضد النساء السافرات؟ فالحجاب فرض في الاسلام و عدم لبسه حرام. ماذا تكون ردة فعل الشعب اذا ابتدأت حملة للدعوة على وقف الغناء؟ او ايقاف المشروبات الكحولية من دخول البلد؟ هل يجرؤ احد على ذلك؟ ام ان الحرام محتمل عندما تمارسه الاغلبية, و محارب عندما يمارسه شخص لا يستطيع الدفاع عن نفسه؟ فهل يقسم الدين حسب الهوى؟

بالطبع سماء الانترنت مفتوح للجميع, و لكن الا يحق لنا ان نحلم بيوم نستطيع الاحتفال باختلافاتنا و البناء عليها بدل محاربة بعضنا البعض؟

BAJD - I love Jordan

2009-03-12T09:31:00.004+02:00

It is the second year where the Jordanian blogshpere celebrate this beautiful country. It is like a national holiday where sentiments of nationality and patriotism are spread in the air, mostly with appreciation for the achievments and prospects Jordan has.

For me, and yes you all know that I am an optimistic person, I have never felt this good about Jordan, and never been as hopefull as I am today. I can point up success stories everywhere, I can smell creativity in the air, I can see young people with dreams and ambitions, I can feel real motivations for achieving and building for the bened of everyone.

In my humble opinion, there are 3 reasons behind this achievment spirit in the country:

1. The stability and safety Jordanians are benefit of since we signed our peace treaty with Israel. Now energy and money are invested in getting this country forward rather than enticing fear and waste it on military equipments.

2. The huge efforts King Abdulla II and Queen Rania are putting in managing the different sectors that build Jordanian economical and social structure. A lot of initiatives have been set in the past couple of years, and a lot of sectors have been supported and raised up to build industries that we didn't have before - IT, tourism and film are at the top of my head.

3. The state of the world today, with the internet and communication evolution that made things easier for people to connect and work togather like never before. Today a Jordanian young man has the same chance to make it big the same way Mark Zuckerberg - the creator of the facebook - have done.

Creativity can do miracles in this world, and we certainly have built a frutile ground for it to grow.

هيا, ماذا يحصل للابذرفر؟

2009-03-06T10:45:00.004+02:00

لا ادري ماذا حصل للابذرفر, او المراقب كما ترجمها شخص في مدونة محمد عمر, هنالك شيء غير طبيعي, لم يعد يكتب كما كان من قبل. اشعر بالشفقة تجاهه, فهو يحاول جاهدة بايجاد فكرة جيدة لطرحها للنقاش في المدونة, لكنه لا يجد, عقله مشغول في عدة اشياء. مشغول لدرجة انه لم يكتب هنا منذ اسبوع, و لدرجة انه كاد ان ينساني تماما! فهو يتجاهلني منذ اشهر. لا اذكر اخر مرة انتبه الى وجودي, و لا اخر مرة استطعت التمرد عليه و فرض نفسي بقوه لطرح قضيتي. ربما هو يعتقد انه سمح لي بطرح قضاياي من عدة جوانب, و لم يعد هنالك مجال للحديث سوى التكرار. انا يجب ان اعترف بنفسي ايضا, لم يخطر في بالي اي شيء يستحق النشر فأثرت الصمت لاسابيع. اقول الصمت و ليس الموت, لانني للحظات شعرت انه ما قد يحصل لي. ارعبت و انتفضت! استغليت صباح الجمعة, فانا اعرف ان عقل الابذرفر يكون صافيا بعد اسبوع من التعب. عرفت انها فرصة جيدة للانتفاض و الخروج من سباتي العميق. فرصة جيدة للحياة من جديد و لو كانت في عدة اسطر فقط

قضيتي اليوم ليست قضية امرأة في مجتمع ذكوري, انها قضية امرأة وهمية في عقل رجل مشغول. قبل قليل كان يقرأ في كتاب ذا كايت راننير. رايت نظرة اعجاب على عينيه عندما قرأ سطرا على لسان الشخصية الرئيسية في القصة امير. كان امير يقول انه يشعر بالتميز لانه ربح يانصيب الجندر في مجتمع ذكوري يعطي الرجل مساحة كبيرة من الحرية ينكرها على المرأة. طبعا انا استغليت الوضع و لعبت لعبة الذنب مع الابذرفر. فانا ايضا امرأة, حتى لو كنت وهمية, فيحق لي المطالبة في المساواة! فهل يعقل ان يسمح لنفسه بطرح افكاره لعدة اسابيع هنا ثم ينكر علي حقي في ذلك؟ اين العدل؟ اين المساواة التي يدعي انه يطالب بها؟ انا ايضا اريد طرح افكاري, حتى لو لم يكن لدي قضية جدية لطرحها, فهو ايضا احيانا يكتب اشياء تافهة, يعني مثلا الكنافة الملونة! ها! هل يعتقد نفسه مبتكرا بطرح هكذا افكار؟! انا استطيع ايضا الابتكار, حتى لو كان في قصة شعري او لون المناكير على اصابع يدي, او ربما تحدثت قليلا عن جمالي, هو لم يتطرق لذلك من قبل! اعمى! قصير البصيرة

في الحقيقة فانا احيانا احزن عليه, فهو اشغل نفسه في قضايا عديدة, فلم يعد لديه وقت كافي للتفكير للصافي, لا ادري لماذا! اهو هروب من شغله اليومي الروتيني القاتل بحيث انه يبحث عن اية نخرج للهروب؟ ام اته رغبة بعمل شيء يستحق التقدير؟ ام جريا وراء المال؟ ام ماذا؟ انا اعرف انه كان اهدأ قبل سنتين. لم يكن ضيق النفس كما هو الان, و لم يكن يفقد اعصابه بهذه الوتيرة. لم يكن شغله شيئا, الان شغله كل شيء! يريد العمل على هذا الشروع و هذا و هذا و هذاّ! فهل ينجح؟ ربما! او ربما علي بتذكيره بما يؤمن هو به دوما, ان الامور ستحصل كمل يجب ان تحصل, وانه في النهاية ما يهم هو الاستمتاع الاني باللحظة, فالحياة قد تكون جميلة اذا عرفنا قيادتها

مع حبي,

هيا

The worst I read on Jordan's blogsphere

2009-03-01T16:03:00.003+02:00

A so called *macho* man describing how appalled he felt for seeing an effeminate young man ordering a cup of coffee in one of Amman's calm cafes - as he put it- (I wonder if he is talking about starbucks here).

In a sarcastic tone, the smart ass writer, tries to explain how hard he had to hold himself from beating up the effeminate man, because - notice this - 'it isn't his right'! So he just stared at him! When the effeminate man didn't reciprocate the stare, he felt his manhood at its peak!

The poor guy had his world crumbled. He didn't believe that effeminate men exist in amman or even the whole world as he states! He, shamelessly, points to the effeminate man with the word 'creature' in a typical attempt of intolerant people to de-humanize those who are different from them. Why would he try to understand the existence of different human beings than they taught him at school? Why would he question the inherited backward rigid lines of sexual roles? Why would he let go of his inherited 'truth' and try to think about it in an objective matter? Isn't it easier to just get angry? Shout out and attack the effeminate guy for there are a lot of people around who are ready to cheer and clap. Is tolerance a hard word to spell?

Read his full post here

Read it translate by google here (a bad translation but might give you an idea)

Petra in a snow globe!

2009-02-27T11:02:00.007+02:00

I have been excited about this for few months now. A friend of mine and I realized that, unlike a lot of other countries, Jordan doesn't offer its historical monuments for people who visit us in snow globes. We do have different kinds of souvenirs, some are good and some are not, but we haven't seen anything as attractive to the eye of a tourist as a snow globe. The most common worldwide item one can pick from a new country he visits is missing! It might be just our personal intake on this, but we believe that Jordan's sourvenirs market, for sure, was in shortage of snow globes - and many other items we have in our mind for future imports -.

We started with the world wonder Petra and the Roman Amphi theatre in Jerash. We have two designs of one size for now but we have different ideas: different designs, other monuments, and different sizes for the future. We still need to do a lot of marketing work, contacting different souvenirs shops in the country to place our items in them. For now, we sell them first hand ourselves, and have them available at Books@cafe.

If you are interested in getting one of our snow globes, you can either contact me at: 079 7320985, or pay a visit for the mailto:oBooks@cafe for now.

A short story from "The Kite Runner"

2009-02-22T08:38:00.005+02:00

I have finally finished reading "Memoir of Geisha". While I can't say that it is not a good read, I can't say that it got me hooked either. In fact, I struggled at the beginning to keep myself interested in the book because of some strong reviews of friends, and later it took me ages to finish. Nevertheless, the whole setting of the life and culture of Geisha is very rich in the book. It is worth the read!

Anyway, I put "Memoir of Geisha" aside and picked up 'The Kite Runner" for Khaled Al Husseni. I wanted to read this book for a very long time now. I never managed to buy it, but then got it as a gift last month from a very sweet friend. The book instantly got me hooked! Not just for the style of writing, but also for the amount of information in it, the cultural aspect and the engaging story.

In the very few first chapters, I got touched with this short story written by the main character in the novel. It talks about a poor happy man with a cup that can translate tears into pearls. Since the poor man is happy in his life, he never tears, and thus never managed to get those pearls. He, then, started upsetting himself in order to get those pearls. The more upset he is, the more pearls he got. With time, he became a greedy person, and ended up sitting on a pile of pearls weeping with his slated wife's body in his arms!

The story hit me hard as I have been facing some stress recently trying to engage myself in different projects in order to be able to gain more money. I think that it had ate from my happiness which is something that I shouldn't compromise. I know that many people have fall into such pit and lost their happiness in the process. The answer of bringing money may not be of doing more work that eats of your happiness, it can very well be by coming up with a creative smart way to do so. The man in the story could have easily shed tears by using onions instead of going down the lane of making himself unhappy!

Tales of a beautiful life - Naming our homes

2009-02-20T11:36:00.004+02:00

Why don't we have the habit of naming our homes?

Naming something gives him a totally different perception. For a home named "Mr. Arab Observer home", it feels way much different if you name it 'The home of warmth".

With naming, many other attributes are obliged to follow. We would have it at the back of our heads when doing the decorations and purchasing the furniture. You can imagine how "The home of warmth" can feel different than "The home of inspiration", or "The home of promising future", or "The artistic home", ...etc.

I haven't picked a name for my future home yet, but I certainly would want it to reflect a sense of harmony, happiness, ambition and love. I would want to have a big sign printed with my home's name on int. I would want people to feel what my home represents and enjoy their visit with me and my partner hospitality to the max.

Maybe something along the lines of "Happy moments", "The future promise", "Love's embrace", "Tales of a beautiful life".

Those names make me feel like loving our homes. I would want to visit my different friend's houses and experience their own taste of life. A new creativity would emerge in our homes and a sense of harmonial energy would cover our city.

Would people follow? One can light a candle, and wait for the light to emerge..

How much our social structure affects our financial status?

2009-02-19T08:52:00.003+02:00

We usually tend to blame the government for our financial status. This is fair to an extend because the government is responsible of setting the necessary regulations and control the flow of the economy in a way that guarantees the best level of living for the citizens. That being said, one would also try to think of other factors that affect the current financial situation of many Jordanian families. A glimpse on the local cultural and social behavior would give us a better idea.

Being an integral part of society is costly in Jordan. Following a set of rigid social traditional rules is necessary. Marriage takes the top spot in term of expenditure and acceptance, and while men are responsible of financing the big chunk of this process, women have also to invest in themselves in order to raise their rank in the market for a better 'husband' opportunity. That is clear in the way young Jordanian women reside to buying a costly new car that takes the major amount of their salary for a couple of years once they start working. In the other hand, young Jordanian men usually settle with a mid-aged car - they usually use their parents's car - in order to save whatever amount of money for their wedding day.

In Jordan, a couple must be legally bonded. It must live in a 3 bedroom house with good quality furniture. It must own a car or two. And it must have at least one or two children few years in their marriage.

An alternative model would be having young girls and boys start working early - as early as 18 -. Lower social expectations of expenditures on weddings parties and focus on giving stronger values for young entrepreneurs rather than those who are married.

Instead of whining about the cost of living and how bad our government performance is, it may be a good idea to monitor our expenditure and guide our money to whatever raises our quality of life rather than gaining a hard achievable social acceptance.

Emos! a new catch for traditional writers!

2009-02-12T08:52:00.004+02:00

So you have been to the mall, and were appalled of the behavior of teenagers?
It is not those who smoke that bothered you,
neither those young boys harassing young girls
or even those bored ones, not knowing how to spend their spare time except by strolling back and forth in boredom
What bothered you is their looks!
Guys don't look like "men"? huh
Girls don't look like "women"? huh

This is not an unusual condensing tone of traditional writers
It was gel that bothered you at my time
Now it is wax!
It contributes to the spiky heads, no?
That is not manly enough to you!
A man with a spiky head equals a disaster, no?
For all men are like the powerful Shamshoon!
Their hair is their source of masculinity!
(not exactly like him, for long hair is a feminine attribute these days!)

It isn't about the hair, is it?
It is those low waste trousers that are driving you crazy!
When you were at that age, no one dared to show his underwear!
It must be the end of the world, no?
We must go back to the military era!
and bring back those tough men of the 60's
They knew how to fight and protect our land, no?

It is a totally new culture that you can't understand
so you freak out and warn of a disease!
Satanists are on the rise!
and then you discover homosexuality
It spreads like a cholera for the lack of strict rules! no?
and then
this is something new
a catch for the attention your readers
EMOS!

Emotional teenagers
Ofcourse, you don't bother to understand
for it is easier to generalize, assume, and attack

They wear black
They have a certain hair style
They listen to a special kind of music
They are depressed
and they cut their veins!

Like in all fast generalizations
you fail to grasp what really brings those group of young people together
It is easy if you look at the name they identify with
They are emotional teenagers
We all know how emotional teenage can be
and we all know that some people are just more emotional than others

There is no need to condemn and fight them
and there is no need to find answers of the cause of what we interpret as a phenomena because it is not
There is no need to group all teenagers under the same umbrella

Sometimes our teenagers may just need
Someone to listen
Someone to hug
Someone to reassure
to help them cope with their turmoil of emotions
and show them the right path of controlling them

Screams may only strengthen their bad feelings and push the small cuts that someone’s adhere to in order to ease their emotional pain, into a bigger ones that may lead to suicides

How much you reflect of your self in your clothes?

2009-02-09T08:30:00.005+02:00

I usually wear a trendy jeans with a colorful shirt. A couple of years before, at college time, my choice of shirts colors was limited in few dull colors. At that time, grey, black, and blue were the only common colors for men. Later on, when Bossini, Pull n Bear and Zara brought colors to our wardrobes, a lot of young men of my age were reluctant of picking up on the new found colors for dark dull ones were still part of the norms and percieved to be part of their masculinity. Men shouldn't wear red or pink, this is still alive in the perception of many of us. For those of the new generation, the rebellious ones, who wanted to say that they don't really stick to the norms of our society and follow the traditional intake of what we wear, colorful shirts became a trend.

Sometime it puzzles me trying to realize what really happened in the era between the late 70's and mid 80's. There has been a huge shift of people's choices in terms what is acceptable to wear and what is not. The other day, a friend of mine posted her parents 70's pictures on facebook. Her dad was wearing a light blue trouser with a pink shirt, her mother looked so stylish in different outfits. Both left me wonder of how beautiful that era of time must have been. Since when colorful trousers stopped being allowed for men? My dull jeans has been my only comfortable *cool* trouser for ages now! I certainly wouldn't risk wearing any colorful trouser at this point of time and become the joke of people around me.

But what does our choice of clothes mean?

Paulo Coelho, in his new book "The Winner Stands Alone" that revolves around fashion (he publishes it directly on his blog), states that:

"Fashion. Whatever can people be thinking? Do they think fashion is something that changes according to the season of the year? Did they really come from all corners of the world to show off their dresses, their jewellery and their collection of shoes? They don’t understand. ‘Fashion’ is merely a way of saying: ‘I belong to your world. I’m wearing the same uniform as your army, so don’t shoot.’"

It sounds like a statement we issue to the world to define the attributes of our personalities. My trendy casual outfit seems to be a reflection my easy going character. Something I started taking good care of in my teenage at a point where I felt lost of popularity and a need to define where I belong.

Her cut is part of the equation, my friend has been chosing a short hair for more of her life. She is thinking of growing it now, and has been reading about why some women prefer a shorter hair. In her readings, she found out that some women who do so, tend to be rebellious one. It is like some women way to stand up for themselves and break the norms of their societies.

For me, as a man, my short hair is a pleasant choice over my couple of year back longer hair. It does give me a stronger feeling of masculinity, and a peace of mind for not having to fight people over a longer not popular hair style.

Our style and fashion communicates where do we want to belong to the world, some people develop a sweet addiction to the latest trends of fashion around the globe. Styloholic is a new fashion blog for style fans. Glamour seems to be the styloholic writer statement of belonging. I am usually not a fan of fashion blogs, but this one is quiet interesting. Check it out here.

Ideas: Colored Kenafeh, Panty hose 7atta, Buttoned shoes

2009-02-05T09:04:00.003+02:00

Some weird ideas have been crossing my mind lately that I am not sure how much potential they carry or how possible it is to implement them. I wanted to write them down in my idea book, but it seems that sometimes I find it easier to take it out on my blog rather than searching for a pen, look for the idea book next to my bed, and put them there!

Sharing those ideas on my blog may also be a good opportunity to discuss them and get different opinions about them. They may be silly ones, but they may have some promise if someone implement them in the right way. Feel free to do so, but don't forget your idea source :P

Colored Kenafeh

Kenafeh has been at the top of the arabian sweets cuisine for hundreds of years now. Nabulsi people are the most famous in making a Kenafeh. Kenafeh for those who doesn't know is based on two layers, white cheese at the bottom and vermicelli at the top. We have hundreds of Arabian sweets shops that serve kenafeh, and all of them serve the same orange-brownish vermicelli kenafeh! Not a single one tried to add some flavors to the vermicelli with a different colors that would make it more appealing to different tastes and different occaisions.

Here are some options we can have:
1. White Kenafeh are perfect for wedding ceremonies - Mint flavour
2. Black Kenafeh are perfect for elegant events - Soos flavour
3. Pink Kenafeh are cool for children - Strawberry flavour

You can go creative here, write down more suggestions in your comment.

Panty hose 7atta like pattern

The traditional 7atta has became a popular scarf around the world. Someone creative enough came up and decided to make different colors of the 7atta that we, for many years, have only knew the red and white versions of it!

Building on the success of that pattern, and seeing the beauty of it around people's necks, it might be a good idea to come up with different options for people to wear the same design pattern around their body parts.

I can imagine it very pretty as a panty hose under women skirts, no? It can be the next fashion craze!

Buttoned shoes

We have always had shoes with laces, sometimes shoes with a zipper, or even with something that stick, but never tied our shoes with a button!

Why? Why does a button work better on a shirt than a shoe? I can imagine it looks nice on a shoe with opening unlimited design options! Someone can make it work, no?

What do you think guys? I want a percentage!

Red in a broad line on LBC: Arab homosexuals and their surroundings

2009-02-02T10:21:00.004+02:00

It seems that the most successful business strategies for modern Arab media is to give their audience what they want to hear regardless of how much truth is there in their statements. LBC, the Lebanese broadcasting channel, has been trying to penetrate the gulf area and gain more user base for sometime now. Homosexuality is becoming more and more of an interest topic for people in the Arab world in general and in the gulf area in particular.
Because of the controversial nature of the issue and the religious dimension of it, people usually have strong feelings towards it. With the lack of real knowledge of what homosexuality really is, misconceptions strive around it. For LBC and other unprofessional Arab media channels, what would be better? Build upon these misconceptions and gain popularity? Or do some small scientific research, give the audience an objective scientific opinion and risk gaining anger and losing market ground? The former is a wiser choice, no? That is at least how people behind ‘a7mar bel khat el 3areed’ (Red in a broad line) seem to think.

The episode aired last Wednesday meant to concentrate on Arab homosexuals and their surroundings, as what one would understand from the title of the episode. Unfortunately, what seemed to be the focus of the editorial team, the host, and the lousy counselor, is highlighting the misconceptions about homosexuality and give an affirmative tone for every wrong popular theory about the cause of homosexuality in the Arab world.

The four people they hosted, two men, and two women (from different Arab countries), barely admitted being homosexuals! All what they confirmed is having same sex relationships at some point of their life and then stating confidently that they are attracted to the opposite sex! So what the heck! They bring straight people to testify in an episode meant to highlight homosexuals and their surroundings?!!
Following are the misconceptions of the causes of homosexuality that the show host tried to focus on:

1.Children sexual abuse: Like in the case of the Lebanese guy who claimed that he has a same sex relationship because he was sexually abused in his childhood, oddly enough, he stated that he is attracted to women and that he even wears jewelry to attract women towards him!

The truth: There is no scientific proof that sexual abuse causes an alteration of sexual orientation. Statistics shows that 1 out of 4 children is subjected to some form of sexual molestation/abuse one way or another. If sexual abuse causes homosexuality, then we would end up with 25% of the population to be gay, which is not the case.

2.Lack of an opposite sex partner: The Saudi woman claimed that she had a same sex relationship with another woman because she didn’t have a male partner to have sex with. She said that she isn’t attracted to women and love men – regardless of their betrayal nature!

The truth: Sexual attraction is what triggers sexual relationships. Having sex with someone you have no sexual attraction toward is more like a punishment rather than a pleasure fulfillment. What really happens in strongly segregated societies is that people with slight same sex attraction tendencies find it easier to act on their feelings where they wouldn’t do that in normal circumstances. There many bi-sexual people with different degrees of attraction to either sex.

3. Lack of a father model: The claim of the Egyptian young boy. He said that his father works as a pilot and that his relationship with his father is bad. The counselor – mistakenly – tried to analyze how a young boy needs to man role model in his life and that with the lack of one he tries to attract other men to fill that role!

The truth: A lot of people are raised without a father (Either because of divorce or death). While not having a father might cause different emotional troubles, it doesn’t affect one sexual orientation. It is wrong to assume that every divorced family’s children would turn up to be homosexuals.

While a lot of people in the Arab world may lack the knowledge of a certain issue or another at this point of time, and while we are yet to catch on the culture of the importance of knowledge, it is upon our media duty to research and study and to raise the awareness of people. We are at the age of information, with small internet research; the credibility of a respectful channel would just disappear!

Seven Pounds: Sacrifice vs Guilt

2009-01-31T21:21:00.004+02:00

** Don't read this spoiler if you haven't watched the film yet.

It left me numb and sad with mixed emotions about life and death, love and sacrifice, guilt and forgiveness. That is how I felt leaving the cinema after watching Will Smith's latest movie - Seven Pounds.

Seven Pounds, turned out to be seven people this man decide to save before killing himself. People living with severe life threatening conditions, from his brother who needed a lung transplant, to a woman with kidney failure, another blind man, someone in need of a liver, a little kid needing a bone marrow transplant, a woman needing a home and shelter away of her violent boyfriend, and the one he fell in love with and needed a heart for herself.

What drives a man to commit suicide and to go to that extreme measures in order to save other people's life? Is it extreme depression and pain for his loss of his loved life? or is it extreme guilt for causing a horrific accident that not only killed his wife but killed another six people as well because of a single text message he was sending from his mobile phone?

We tend to judge other people so harshly, and sometimes we tend to be really hard on ourselves. It is really horrible to cause such pain to many people at a time where you don't expect such turning point of your life. A little mistake that most of us do in a daily basis and get away with. Holding your phone to your ears and talk or click on its keypad sending a text message while driving. A moment later, you end up killing someone! How fair that can be? Life is not fair I know, and I know as well that most of us don't realize how risky such behavior can be. I know also that we just let go, maybe with a brush over the odds, or with a blind faith of a watchful father.

It is inevidable to hurt people around us in life, whether it is severe or not, and whether it is intentional, act of stupidity or a coincidental act of faith, it might be smart to try to let go, forgive and be supportive to each other, because life is harsh in its own self. It just becomes harder when we stand by watching with spears in our hands to hunt whoever fall, even if it is us who do!

Obama has already done some changes!

2009-01-26T09:31:00.004+02:00

"From the first moment a woman dared to speak that hope -- dared to believe that the American Dream was meant for her too -- ordinary women have taken on extraordinary odds to give their daughters the chance for something else; for a life more equal, more free, and filled with more opportunity than they ever had. In so many ways we have succeeded, but in so many areas we have much work left to do."
-- Barack Obama, Speech in Washington, DC -November 10, 2005

Sometimes people who are very skeptical and refuse to give any hope or show little optimism annoy me. Many people said their opinion about Obama and his so called promised change that he will be bringing to the people of America and as a result to the people of the world. While as most say, it is quiet too early to judge, one can’t help but to point out the different decisions Obama has made in only few days.

He revoked a band on federal funding for international groups that provide or promote abortions. He ordered the Guantanamo detention center to be shut within a year. He ordered his staff to come up with whatever planning necessary to execute a responsible drawdown from Iraq. And he reversed Bush’s order of applying restrictions on embryonic stem cell research.

If that is not CHANGE, then what is it?! He seems a very liberal progressive leader to me. He is tackling issues in terms of a human perspective rather than a narrow ideological one.

And if you still not sure of the amount of change Obama hides under his sleeves, check out the official white house website for his complete agenda www.whitehouse.gov

Check out Women and Civil rights pages. Women and homosexuals should rejoice with his action plan!

We are heading towards a better world.

The world has a new language

2009-01-21T12:19:00.002+02:00

The chapter of terror is closed. The chapter of war has ended. The chapter of blind dogmas is behind us. The American people have woke up and elected a new leader who can talk the language of humanity, the language of hope not fear as he put it himself. One who is confident enough of the right means that brings prosperity and peace not only to his nation but also to the whole nations of the world.

A new language might be what we just need to start seeing changes in this world. The alphabets of the world leader are very important in shaping the face of communication on this planet. Bush has dragged us down the road back into an old era of human development that is out of time of what humanity have reached to. Obama will set us back on the right track of the human progress, right where we have reached and right where we are heading.

A new face, a new tongue, a new leader with the right language that would set the leaders of the world speeches. Soon we will be listening to a total different news, and we will be having a total new perspective and hope.

Those who would resist are on the wrong side of history (he also said that). They might realize that the train has passed. It is no longer their time for the world is heading forward in a human sense.

It is time to move forward…. Lets march…

Gaza wants to live

2009-01-20T09:12:00.004+02:00

Ahmed Humaid wrote an excellent article about re-branding Gaza. A new image for the Palestinian cause that would give it a human edge. Hope this image fit with those lines he talked about.

اسرائيل تسحب كأس الارهاب

2009-01-18T15:43:00.001+02:00

نجحت الحكومة الاسرائيلية الحالية بسحب كأس الارهاب من العالم العربي والاسلامي. فجأة و بعد سنين من المعاناة و الكفاح الشعبي العربي و الاسلامي في وجه الهجمة الشرسة من اعداء السلام لالصاق صفة الارهاب على هذا الشعب، تجد اسرائيل نفسها و بظرف اسابيع قلة، تتربع على عرش الارهاب العالمي بجدارة.

عالم اليوم مختلف عن عالم الامس. الوعي الانساني العالمي اليوم هو في اقوي درجاته. لم يعد المجتمع الدولي يرضى باية انتهاكات لحقوق الانسان حول العالم. البربرية و الهمجية مرفوضة من العالم اجمع بغض النظر عن العرق او اللون او الدين. اسرائيل فشلت في قراءة الحس الانساني العالمي. اعتقدت ان الصاق تهمة الارهاب على شعب يعطيها ضوءا اخلاقيا اخضر لقتل هذا الشعب. لم تعي ان العالم انضج و اوعى، وان العالم يقن ان القتل هو وجه الارهاب، و ان القاتل ارهابي مهما كان قناع المقتول، و حتى لو كان مقيد بقناع شيطان.

تعالت هتافات الناس حول العالم. و بينما تقف الحكومات، الى الان، عاجزة عن وقف هذه الجريمة الانسانية، تصرخ شعوب العالم من وجع الجسد الانساني. بدأت الشعوب تطالب بفرض عقوبات دولية على اسرائيل لاعادتها الى رشدها. بعد عدة سنين من عمليات التجميل التي حملت اسرائيل شبه وجه انساني حول العالم، نجحت الحكومة الاسرائيلية الحالية بتشويهة بضربة عرضية فتحت جرح لن يندمل لسنين عدة.

سحبت اسرائيل كأس الارهاب، فماذا علينا ان نفعل؟

هل نستطيع التصرف بحكمة و البناء على الحس الانساني العالمي؟ ام نقف عاجزين عن لجم مشاعر الغضب المتأججة لفظاعة الجرائم الاسرائيلية و نترجمها في طريقة تعيد لنا كأس الارهاب؟ هل نستطيع خلع رداء الدين و العرق و التوجه نحو العالم بلغته الانسانية التي يفهمها؟

ساذج هو من يرى مجزرة الشعب الفلسطيني من منظار انتصار المقاومة لصمودها. في الحقيقة فاننا اذا اردنا ان نبحث عن شيء ايجابي من هذه الجزرة، نجد ان تعاطف شعوب العالم مع قضيتنا الفلسطينية هو اهم نتائج هذه الكارثة الانسانية.كيف نستطيع البناء على هذا التعاطف العالمي؟

نستطيع فعل ذلك بتلميع الوجه الانساني للشعب الفلسطيني، العربي و الاسلامي،التوجه للعالم بلغة انسانية، لا تحمل مفردات عرقية او دينية ضيقة. بعد ذلك علينا تقديس الحياة الانسانية والتوقف عن تمجيد الاستشهاد و التمسك بالجهاد المدني بدل الجهاد العسكري. ثم يتوجب علينا التوقف عن حمل راية هتلراو صدام حسبن او اي طاغية عالمي و العمل على التركيز على حق الشعب الفلسطيني في حياة كريمة بدل التركيز على دعوات قتل الاسرائيليين.

و اخيرا تركيز جهودنا على وقف الحرب و مساعدة اهل عزة بدل مهاجمة القادة العرب و الاعتداء على السفارات

Posted at 7iber.com

MSN Arabia covers Kate Winslet body!

2009-01-17T21:20:00.006+02:00

It is funny how international corporations try to adhere to local cultures in promoting their products. Microsoft way seems to cover women's revealing body parts on their internet channels.

This is how Kate Winslet appears at Golden Globe awards on MSN Arabia.

and this is how Kate really appeared at the Globes.

It doesn't seem like a general policy of MSN Arabia! There are pictures of women with some revealed shoulders! Maybe it is just a lousy editor trying to show his photoshop skills!

Seems that our news agency petra is not the only news portal who covers women!

Zain’s Social Work

2009-01-14T09:48:00.003+02:00

Zain group, the largest telecommunication provider in Jordan, has issued a press release in their annual strategic business meeting that was held in Amman this year. We all know how good these telecommunication companies make, and thus this post is not meant to focus on the company’s achievements and its prospects and plans for the coming few years. This may also sound like a free advertisement for the company, but it is a thing that I believe such companies deserve for the fulfillment of its social duties. It is worth highlighting the appreciation of people of such work in order for other companies to follow up.

Let’s look at what they have been doing socially:

1. Zain has renewed its partnership with the Ministry of social development for the 4th consecutive year in order to be able to provide their social support and donation under one channel. Since 2005, they have been able to help 1120 families in Jordan.

2. They have a Knowledge Competition with a prize of 10,000 JD to the winner which was the Jordan University team this year.

3. Zain is a major partner of Queen’s Rania education initiative ‘Madrasati’ (My school). They are committed to provide around 500,000 JD to the program in 5 years. The program is meant to maintain public school and support educational programs along with providing essential tools for education.
In addition to that, Zain has provided 57 college scholarships last year.

4. 100, 000 JD is Zain’s donations for Gaza, along with opening their centers for accepting people’s donations and providing a channel of donating money through sms.

These are what most caught my attention of their social work. It might be the least one would expect from a company of the size of Zain, but it is also good to appreciate whatever is done in this area.

Jordan Chamber of Commerce, I am impressed!

2009-01-13T09:06:00.002+02:00

I am really impressed.
Three days ago, I headed with my business partner to the Jordan Chamber of Commerce to register our Licky-Licious business there because we wanted to add selling sweets to our menu and the municipality needed this permission in order to give us the license.

Of course, going to deal with a governmental entity kept me wary of the potential problems that may arise, especially with our past experience with the GAM and their bad services at Zahran’s offices.

It was Saturday, and we went so early as of 8 AM. The minute we entered the building, a man at the reception called us in a very respectful manner and asked us how he can help us. He then pointed us to another guy that would help us in our application. We moved to the other guy’s desk, which cheered us with a smile and offered us some candies! He then asked for our papers which we didn’t have yet because we were waiting for the guy which we appointed to handle our governmental procedures. The guy of the Chamber asked us to sit down a bit till he comes and few seconds later; he came to us and offered us some coffee!

Our guy arrived few minutes later, we proceeded with the application but it turned out that we missed our rent form which was necessary for the application at the Chamber. Our guy suggested that they proceed with the application in the meantime and we fax them the rent form afterward. Surprisingly, they agreed, and few minutes later we were done!

I am telling you guys, this is a 5 stars service! To sum it up:

1.People were all energetic and awake starting their work at 8 am.
2.They were very respectful and hospital
3.They wear badges with their names on their chests
4.There was NO smoking whatsoever in the Chamber
5.The procedures were simple and clear.

I have dealt with the Ministry of Industry and Commerce, the Chamber of Commerce and the GAM. It seems that doing business in Jordan is not as bad as we think it is. The GAM’s Zahran’s office is still a disaster, but I hope they come around and meet up the expectations of services other governmental entities in this country provide so far.

When governments damage their people

2009-01-08T08:31:00.005+02:00

In two weeks, the Israeli government managed to gain more hatred towards Israel and the Jews than what the state of Israel managed to do in the past decade. As bad as Bush's administration which hit America's popularity to the bottom, Israeli government had ruined whatever reputation the Jews managed to build for themselves around the world over the years. I am sure there is much anger among the Israelis towards their government for its stupid calculations and immature adventure they have took the whole region into.

The barbarism of their attacks and the large toll of killed civilians managed to kill their reputation exactly the same way we, the Arabs and the Muslims, have been suffering from the bad reputation of suicide bombers. It is all happening with the blessing of the departing American government that have managed to give its last stab to the moderates and peace activates voices in the middle east and around the world.

A small tour among the Jordanian and Arab blogosphere, one would notice the blow these attacks hit the peace process. War bangers, who have been silent for some time, are enjoying the enormous space opened for them now to build on the anger of people. The calls out to fight and kill the Israelis have spread to cover some Arab leaders and the voice of moderation.

Ofcourse some TV stations are building on the business of the war. A huge hit to cover. Arab war analysts are building as well on the emotions of Arab people and give us a fake sense of victory. If Israel failed to erase Hamas from the map then it is a victory for us? How naive are those measurements of victory? Don't the 700 dead people (till now) speak loud of how severely we have lost? Human life is sacred. Every single kill is a blow to the entire humanity and its universal ethics and moral codes.

In contradiction to the common assumption, the is NO “win-lose” situations in most of the modern wars. Both parties end up losing, and the civilians pay the price. Hizb Allah didn't win last war with Israel because it survived the attacks! How stupid that line of reasoning can be at a time where the entire country of Lebanon paid in terms of the lives of its people and the infrastructure of the country?

Irrational voices are claiming that 15 years of peace negotiations have failed to give us the peace we aspire for. In reality, radicals and extremists have never allowed the peace process to go smoothly. They exist at both sides of the fence and they both master the play of manipulating the mainstream emotions to their benefits. In reality, military resistance has failed us for more than 50 years now. Violence triggers violence, the tragedy going on in Gaza can easily spread up to cover the entire region.

If we don't manage to step out now and scream for peace, the 700 dead people may become 7 thousands and even more.

Break up because of their wedding card

2009-01-05T17:54:00.003+02:00

I am sure most of us have heard of many hilarious stories about people breaking up few days before their wedding day for the stupidest reasons.
One of the weirdest stories I have heard is about a couple breaking up because one of the fathers, being a doctor, wanted to write “The Doctor flan flan” (his title before his name) on the wedding card while the other father didn’t approve it because people would think of him of being of a lower social status.

What we gloat about the strength of family relations that we enjoy in the Arab world compared to the western countries can be problematic at times when families extend their natural role of support into dictating the lives of their members.

It is not enough that some fathers have to approve their son’s future wife and her family, but they also are entitled to write their titles and their names on their son’s wedding invitation card building on the stupidity of a society that worships superficiality.

The couple mentioned above would have prevented such problem from arising and may be happily married by now if they dared to stand up to themselves and drop off their fathers’ names. But that would be a huge disrespect to the fathers that would make hell break loose and leave them ostracized by their whole families. It is funny because writing down their mothers’ names would be perceived as disrespect for their families as well due to the social status of women in our society.

We may be proud of the achievements of the Jordanian women so far, but sometimes it is the tiny details in a unanimous behavior that we call tradition, and in which it seems impossible to break for we assign a sacred – almost - status to, that wakes us up and states that gender equality has a long way to go.

Individual freedoms suffer the same way.

في بداية عام جديد, متى نبدا بتقديس الحياة؟

2009-01-01T11:41:00.003+02:00

اصحو اليوم في عام جديد, كلمة جديد مرتبطة بالبياض في الاشعور لدي. كان صفحة جديدة فتحت, و كأن امال جديدة ازدهرت. في بداية كل عام جديد اتطلع بشوق الى الايام القادمة, اتمنى, احلم, اؤمن, اقنع نفسي ان الحياة تتقدم الى الامام و أن وعي الشخصي, هو كوعي العالم, و عي البشرية, ينمو و يزدهر مع مرور الوقت, و مع نمو وعينا تزداد قدرتنا على اسنباط سعادة اكبر

ربما يبدو كلامي للبعض بعيدا عن المنطق و الواقع, فكيف لنا ان نحلم بمستقبل افضل و نحن نرى الغضب و الموت و الكراهية تحيطنا؟ حاولت تجنب الموت الحاضر في غزة. شعرت بانني مكبل و ان مشاعري قد تزيد غضب البعض. لم ادرى كيف ارفع صوتي للسلام في وقت اطرشت به اصوات اعداء السلام اذان الجميع. اخترت الصمت, حاولت التنحي جانبا و يدي الى قلبى, خائفا على مستقبل بلدي و مجتمعي و عائلتي و اصحابي و احبائي

في الحقيقة, و قد ابدو انانيا للبعض هنا, فقد طورت نفسي استراتيجية دفاع ذاتية خلال السنين. تغمض عيني تلقاء نفسها لمنظر الدماء, لم تعد اذني تسمع الصراخ و الالام. اكره الموت و الدمار, اكره الصرخ و الضجيج. فصلت نفسي عن الخطاب الديني و الاثني. تمسكت في انسانية الانسان. اراهن على الحياة, اقدس الحب, و اومن ان انسانيتنا تحمل في طياتها ما يجعلنا نتشابه بمقدار اكبر بكثير ما تفرق بيننا الاعراق و الاديان

يخيفني الخطاب الديني, اهاب جملة "امة الاسلام", اهاب تقسيم الناس حسب دينهم. و اتساءل اين "امة الانسانية؟". لماذا لانفتح ذراعينا اكثر لاحتضان الجميع؟ لماذا لانجعل الرابط الانساني اساسا لحكمنا على الاخر. اهو ضيق افق ام مصالح قادة يستمدون قوتهم من التقسيم؟

بقدر ما يحزنني الموت الحاصل في غزة, بقدر ما تحززني ثقافة الموت حولي. اتفاجاء من الناس حولي, يريدون القتال و الموت, يتمنون الشهادة. لايهم فقدان اب او اخ, لايهم مقتل طفل او امرأة فقد انتقلو الى نعيم الجنة. اخاف الجنة التي جعلت حياتنا رخيصة. اخاف الجنة التي تمحي جمالية الحياة. اخاف الجنة التي تطفىء نور الحياة

لكن في نفس الوقت, ارى بصيص امل, اشعر بالفخر عندما ارى الاردنيين يهبون للمساعدة. اشعر بالشكر للاشخاص خلف حبر الذين استطاعوا بصوتهم لجم مشاعر الغضب و تحويل طاقات الشعب الى شيء ايجابي يفيد الناس في غزة بدل ان يضر شعبنا هنا. ارى نضجا شعبويا يقوده شباب هذا الوطن. اشعر في الامل و ارى بصيص نور خلف سحب الظلام

في بداية عام جديد, اتساءل متى سينضج وعينا الشعبي لتقديس الحياة؟ متى نستطيع تغيير رسالتنا الى العالم؟ متى نستطيع ان نصرخ و نقول اننا نستحق الحياة لاننا نحبها. نستحق الحياة لاننا نريد ان نحياها. نريدها كاملة دون انتقاص. نريد الفرح و البهجة و الجنون

How did the Secret work for me this year?

2008-12-31T10:36:00.004+02:00

Earlier, at the beginning of this year, I voiced out what I want in an attempt to play the secret game.

Now at the end of the year, let's see how it worked:

1. Win 150000 JD. The biggest monthly prize of Al Eskan bank

I didn't win the monthly prize of bank al eskan, and no I don't have 150,000 jd now, but the secret did work. In a mysterious way I got a brilliant idea. One that I am working on, and hopefully will be making more than 150,000 in little effort and short time. (We will be talking about it by the end of 2009)

2. My grandma to be spared of her pain of struggling with cancer

My grandma didn't heal, but she got spared of her pain. She passed away at the end of January. My grandfather didn't last long after her. He followed her in August. May their souls rest in peace.

3. Licky Licious to be a big success

I should have defined big success! Actually summer was a good season for us but sales declined gradually with temperature! For a first year in business, I would say it has been a fair success. Hope next year we will do better.

4. Have time to write my first novel - a long Arabic version of Social Pressure.

I didn't have time for the novel. I started 2 pages in Arabic then stopped. Other writing projects took my time. I wrote several short films. I am happy with what I have so far and hope for more work in this department next year.

5. Get a Nintendo Wii

The secret figured out Nintendo, but didn't figure out the Wii! I got a Nintendo DS in a very spontaneous way. For the first time at work, they decided to give some gifts to some employees who worked hard on a successful project. I, myself, got a phone wireless kit that didn't work for my car. I went back to Smart Buy and replaced it with a Nintendo DS.

I love my DS, but still looking forward for a Wii

Child Custody Law

2008-12-26T11:49:00.003+02:00

For years, my father's cousin has been frightened about losing her daughter. She didn't dare to ask for divorce eventhough she and her husband got seperated two years after their wedding. Her worst nightmare arises when she heard that he was in a relationship with a Muslim women and was about to change his religion. Her feared didn't stem out of concern about his religious status, but more about her custody of her daughter that would drop immediatly if her husband converted.

Yesterday, she was talking about Queen Rania's youtube channel. She said that Queen Rania is addressing the world, telling them how good we are at protecting our minorities and treating our women. Then she proceeded on questioning women rights in Jordan under a law that strips a woman her children just because her husband fall in love with another woman of a different religion. She is determined to sent a letter to the Queen about this matter.

I know that my Christian neighbour who is married to a Muslim went to the court and converted to Islam when she knew that her husband has married another woman on her. She was frightened of losing the custody of her two son, and so she took some protective measrument including giving away her own religion.

I wonder how much our women rights organizations are aware of such laws and how hard are they working on changing it.

Merry Xmas!

2008-12-24T17:40:00.000+02:00

It is time to acknowledge our achievements

2008-12-23T08:35:00.004+02:00

People see what they want to see. What they want to see is usually what they used to see. Familiarity breeds content. In Jordan, people are used to be negative and see a black future for this country no matter how much achievements there are. "Allah yostor, lessa el jay a3zam" - (God forbade us from the coming), a common sentence that pops up whenever a bad thing happens.

It is funny, because daily newspapers are full of success stories. It was just yesterday where I read 3 good news that I am sure most readers just ignored:

1. Jordanian science and math curriculum won the best among the arab countries.
(sure there is a room for improvement, and pointing out that the arab countries curriculum must suck don't help here)

2. Unemployment rates in Jordan went down to 12%.
(yes 12%, not 50% as you want to believe).

3. Tourism sector growth 27% from past year.
(no, it isn't about jew tourists who you think damage more than benefit the economy).

We do run to shout out the shortageous of our government. We boast our officials errors in a way that makes us feel good about our judgement because that is what we believe they are.

Sometimes it might not be that wrong, but when it becomes a general attitude, maybe it is time to start acknowledging the progress that is going on. Maybe I can utilize some posts on my blog to highlights things out from time to time because I am sick of pessimism.

It is better to light a candle than cursing the dark, no?

Micro blogging - Shoes issue and other stuff

2008-12-19T09:57:00.006+02:00

I have some statements in my mind that can go into a post of micro blogging the way Hareega has been doing recently

* While I loved the act of Muntadhar Al Zaidi because it reflected the feelings of many people around the world, I still think that it is wrong from a professional journalism ethics point of view.

* 7 to 15 years in jail is PURE injustice for a man throwing a shoe on someone else no matter how important that someone else can be. In Jordan, people get 3 years in jail for an honor crime where a woman got KILLED not thrown by a shoe! Who said the world is fair anyway?!

* It is ironic that most Bush-shoe-hitters in the sock and awe flash game are from the United States of America. Some American were offended by the act, but a lot of other American wanted to hit him themselves! It is understandable, we do feel like hitting some of our lousy leaders with more than shoes, no?

* It surprised me the amount of hits I got after a Norwegian newspaper linked to my caricature last week. The daily visitors for this blog jumped from an average of 200 visitors daily to around 1000 visitor! That explains the amount of anonymous comments of that post from new visitors of this blog. Now it is back to normak.

* Pessimistic people pisses me. There is someone in the blogsphere who comment under the nickname El Mashkalgy. From his name, you would realize that he likes to cause trouble. He refuses to see any positive achievement in this country. We exchange some comments at the Danish Ambassadors blog recently. He said why is Jordan lacking behind many countries? I answered him that the question can also be why is Jordan proceeding many other countries as well? A glass can be discribed half full, no?

* I got banned from blogging at work. I don't think that it had affected my performance but they started monitory our internet usage because the internet in Jordan sucks and they are trying everything to keep it at best rate for work usage only. It really pissed me on. This blog has been my survival window in a dull software development career. I have been looking for switching careers sometimes now. How hard can it be moving from web design/UI development into a social development, human rights or journalism field? Any idea guys of the best way to have this transition?

The shoes should only humilate Bush!

2008-12-16T12:05:00.003+02:00

When Saddam Hussen got executed, some people felt offended because they percieved the humilation of an Arab leader to be humilation for all Arabs! I couldn't understand their reasoning. How in the hell people attach their dignity to a dictator? Saddam only represented himself, and his humilation should only reflected on him.

In the same line, I was surprised of the different Americans commenting on my yesterday's blog post. Some of them did really felt offended for the shoes thrown on George Bush. That is a stupid line of thinking in my opinion. In Jordan, people link the honor of an individual to the honor of the entire family, and we think this is BAD! And then we see some American people linking the dignity of one man to the dignity of an entire nation!

George Bush doesn't represent his nation as much as Saddam Hussen didn't represent the Iraqi people.

People around the world restored their hope in the American people when Obama got elected. We believe in the American people and America as a nation. I will repeat Queen Rania's words here: Our fight is not between East and West, Muslims and Christians, it is between extremists and moderates at both sides. George Bush have managed to help extremists gain ground all over the world. It is time to put the world back on track.

For those who enjoyed the video of the throwing shoes, now there is a flash game that allows you to do it yourself! People around the world are throwing showes on George Bush now, check it out here

Muntadhar Al-Zaidi is a hero!

2008-12-15T09:16:00.002+02:00

What part of 'Speed kills you' you don't understand?

2008-12-14T09:56:00.004+02:00

What part of 'Speed kills you' that our youth don't seem to understand? Really? With over 18 people dying in this Eid holiday in car accidents, isn't it time for us to stop and question the causes of this phenomena?

This is not new news, every couple of months we hear about tragedies of young people dying on our streets. Road pumps, despite being everywhere, didn't manage to stop it. Advertisment campaigns to increase awarnace of the risks of speed didn't help either. Parents don't seem to be able to have control over their teenage children of limiting the usage of cars for transportation (that is partially understandable due to the lack of proper public transportation in the country).

The bottom line is, there is a culture of high speed admiration that dominates the mind of our young men. I remember my late teenage and early twenties and how hard was it for me trying to manage my choices of getting into a car with some other friends driving. Most young men believe subconsciously that as a driver, they have to impress their friends with their driving abilities. The high speed driving is attached subconsciously with what our societies suffers from at large - worshipping masculinity. Smoking, fighting, and high speed are all forms of masculinity showing that is an essential requirement for a young man to achieve a high ranking in our lost youth communities.

With a lack on emphasis of the responsibility aspect of manhood in our schools. Lack of proper social programs that build on the energy and enthusiams of young people, and the lack of proper methods of expression. Our young men resort to high speed as their choice to inflate social pressure.

It is time to re-assess our education methods. The solution starts at our schools.

Gay penguins steal eggs from straight couples!

2008-12-05T23:31:00.002+02:00

A couple of gay penguins are attempting to steal eggs from straight birds in an effort to become "fathers", it has been reported.

How often does this happen? Why didn't they seek adoption?

But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracised the gay couple from their group.

That is a good reason for homophobia, no?

A keeper at Polar Land in Harbin, north east China explained that the gay couple had the natural urge to become fathers, despite their sexuality.

If there is not many orphan penguins then artificial insamination would help. Or maybe some electric shock therapy for those gay penguins would for them to change their immoral behaviour.

"One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite this being a biological impossibility for this couple, the natural desire is still there," a keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper

Nature is realy fucked up! It wires in them the need of looking after eggs, then strip them of the ability of making some! They have the capability, but their campus is set towards a wrong direction! How would they possibly know how to conceive a child?! They are smart enough to rob but not to figure out that they need to have sex with a female penguin in order to get some eggs?! Maybe then the other penguins wouldnt have ostarized them from the group.

Read the full story here

Happy Adha everyone...

2008-12-04T11:35:00.000+02:00

Donia Al Mahabba - Voices of the world

2008-12-03T09:58:00.007+02:00

Spiritus Mandi is a cultural organization that aims to bridge the gab between cultures through music. The Swedish Institute planned a weekend for us - the YLVP participants - at Spiritus Mandi in Malmo where they lead us into creating our own song.

They divided us into groups and asked us to come up with some lyrics. They had some beautiful music and added it to our lyrics. We then went into their studios and recorded it. The result was this very beautiful song. Check it out here. (go to the bottom of the page and click on Voices of the world link).

"Togather we find a way, we are voices of the world, togather we find a way to make our voices heard"

I love how it sounds when different young people from different Arab countries work with Swedish people to come up with this. It is true that we - togather - will find a way to make our voices heard.

One of our groups came up with:

"Donia al mahabba t2ool, 7ob o salam 3ala tool.... 3adel o sa3adah o khair... lel 3alam...lel 3alam"

(The world of love says, love and peace for ever.... justive and happiness and goodness... for the world... for the world.)

I love this part the most. It may sound too cheesy for some, but I do enjoy singing it. It gives me a lift of positive energy where I feel that I really love this world.

Our group decided to a bit darker and came up with an arabic rap section:

Mamnoo3 mesh masmoo7

3eb... 7aram

la t2arrab... la tfakkar

2ossetna el 3arabeieh

3onf o 3onsoreyye

ma fe democrateyye

3aysheen dictatoreyye

bedna ensaneyye

o n3eesh fe 7oreyye 7oreyye 7oreeye

It means:

Forbidden... not allowed

shameful...sinful

don't come close... don't think

our arabic story

bruitality... discrimination

no democracy

living in dictatorship

we want humanity

and to live freely.. freely.. freely

Strong words, no? Guess where shameful and sinfule line came from? :P

and then you have those powerful slang sentences in the backgroud like 'ma tekhteshi ya bet' (aren't you ashamed of your self girl?) and 'endabbi wen ray7a?' (stay home girl, where are you going).

It is really a beautiful song. Miss you all YLVP participants. Hope we can work togather really to make our voices heard and help our societies live freely.

88 minutes... serial killers!

2008-11-30T08:52:00.003+02:00

I don't usually go for thriller dark or horror movies. I used to do so long time ago at my teenage when I wanted to prove to myself that I am big enough to handle those scary disgusting scenes, and thus horror was my favourite genre back then. With time, I started to figure out that such scenes do reside in my memory and that they would just surface as nightmares whenever I am sick or very tired, and slowly my interest shifted towards romantic and comedy genres.

On friday, I head to the cinema with some of my friends. They wanted to watch 88 minutes. I had no idea about the film, they said it is a thriller but I didn't know what to expect. The horrofic crime scene at the beginning of the movie made me wonder if I have made the right decision of watching it or not. It didn't take much thoughts of me as the fast pace and the thrill aspect of the scenes kept me hooked and holding my breath till the end. The script has been written in a brilliant way that keeps you at your toes keeping you skeptical about everything and wondering what would happen next. It has also some deep psychological conversations regarding serial killers that kept me interested.

After the film, I was left with different emotions. In one hand, I was thinking of how secure I feel about my life, and how there is always a chance for a horrific incident that can ruin it all. One the other hand, I was thinking of the pshychological nature of serial killers and how many people would reach this stage and why?!

A few year ago, a trend arose in local weekly newspapers to cover up crime incidents in the kingdom. Shihan lead the way back then. It gained much popularity because of its crime coverage although it was more closer to a tabloid rather than to a credited source of information. There was no professionalism in reporting news, and stories were twisted and created in a way to gain more readers.

Abo Shakoosh (The hammer-er) was the first and only serial killer mentioned in the history of Jordan media. Shihan took charge of covering the crimes and rumors around him. I think that it was pharmacies that he mainly targeted, and then other stores. He used to use a hammer to smash his victims head. People were so freaked out back then. I, myself, used to fear about my father's safety in his shop. That was new to us, and a sense of insecurity took over the entire country.

A few months later, the police claimed to caught the guy. A lot of people didn't believe it for sometime and kept being weary. A few years later, Shihan and such weekly newspaper lost their popularity. Crimes were no longer exaggerated and people re-gained their sense of security.

I think that Abo Shakoosh was sentenced to a death penalty.

Serial killers pushed me to face a moral delimma in my views of life. While I am so much aware of the horrofic nature of their acts, I don't like to demonize people. One has to be too damaged to get that far of killing several people and get pleasure out of it. I went over Serial Killers page on wickipedia. Serial killers seem to lack the feeling of empathy and guilt. Why is that? Is it something that they acquire because of some hardships they faced in their lives? or is it part of their natural genetic inheritance? How much of a free will is there for people committing such horrible acts?

Is death penalty a fair sentence over serial killers? or is it a kind of lack of empathy from us towards some people who don't know how to stop killing other people?!! I would prefer a life imprisonment where they would be prevented from killing others.

This won't change the world, but maybe some minds..

2008-11-27T08:53:00.002+02:00

"I am not claiming a video can change the world but maybe it can help us change some minds... and that is where real progress starts" Her Majesty Queen Rania

Beautiful what she said on youtube, isn't it?

I can't admire her more!

and I say that the same applies here for me.... I am not claiming that a single post can change the world but maybe it can help me change some minds.... and yes, I believe that is where real progress starts!

I have a question for my blog readers, have I ever succeeded in a presenting a different perspective or new idea of something that helps change your view of life? Please let me know.

Our Habits, our Traditions... and our imaginations!

2008-11-26T08:31:00.004+02:00

"Imagination is more important than knowledge" Albert Einstein

Another tip from the idea book.

Learn to ignore what you have learnt

How many of us can do that?

Fosbury did. He was a high jumper and medicine student. He participated in the Mexico Olympics in 1968. The point of the high jump is to jump over a horizontal bar. The one jumping the highest is the winner. At that time, there were two ways of jumping over the bar: Dive over or Hurdle over.

Forsbury began to study how the human body works, and realized that the smartest way of jumping over a high bar is not diving or hurdling but in fact jumping with his back to the bar!

BUT how much creativity is appreciated in our culture?

People have this tendency of sticking to familiar things. New ideas and ways of thinking do threaten the norms that people made peace with and are accustomed to. In Europe they had the tendency to burn creative women at stake and call them witches. They might have break off this kind of mentality as the human perspective matured and realized the importance of creativity for the progress of human being societies.

but what about us? How much are we still bind to that way of thinking? Doesn't *our culture* consider *our habits* and *our traditions* SACRED?

"An idea is fragile" Charle Browe said... "It can be killed by a scornful smile or yawn. It can be mowed down by irony and scared to death by a cold look"

How does a new idea stand against a culture that demonize innovation and trash creativity? Is this part of why we are trailing behind other nations at this point of time where there are much restrictions on our imaginations that kills any attempt of bringing up new things that help us progress?

Would our new generation break up from the bondage of our current culture and fly in the sky of their imaginations?

Untamed Arab API break taboos - SVD article

2008-11-23T09:38:00.004+02:00

Me and Nas in an article about Arab blogs in SVD (the second largest morning newspaper in Sweden).

It is only me who write on this blog, and I didn't say that I do not want to disclose my identity online! I answered those questions to the writer of this article in an email! Obviously something went wrong!

Here is it in swedish.

Social Arena - Social Media Networking of 2010

2008-11-21T11:36:00.002+02:00

Our biggest assignment for the young leadership program in Sweden was to come up with ideas for a social media networking solution for 2010. My group, The Frozen 5, contained a Palestinian human rights activist, a Swedish journalist, a Syrian architect, am Egyptian media teacher, and me - Jordanian web developer/blogger.

Inspite of the horrible lengthy debates that took place between us, and the hardship we faced trying to communicate between each other, we were able to deliver an excellent idea, nice prototype and wonderful presentation at the end of the program.

What would we do to help increasing freedom of expression as a social media networking solution that isn't already out there on the web?

It was a challenging question. We started thinking of what draws us to the internet, and what is the common trait of us - the young leaders participants of the program -. The answer was simple and clear: It is OUR PASSION to defend our VALUES. Isn't it the same thing that we all share? Isn't it what made blogging popular?

And so, the idea of creating a "facebook" based on values popped up. A social media network solution where people gather based on their values or issues they are interesting in.

Ofcourse, that was not enough for originality. We needed more, and so we asked ourselves. How do people communicate their values now on the web? What forms of debates are taking place? We looked out there and found message forums, email groups and blogs! All work in a linear form, where someone post a topic and people reply. There is no real HEAD to HEAD debate anywhere on the internet.

That is how the Debate Arena emerged! A place where two people (for now) can go head to head in debating a certain issue/value (see climate change scenario image below). I have always wished to go head to head against Qwaider (:P). Two people challenging each other while having all the resources that they can gather to support their views, and they can invite their friends to support them right below their debate. Supporters (like in blogs) can add comments, they can add videos/images/audio that would help the argument of each contender. And finally, they can vote! A voting that would decide the winner of the debate (if they want a win/lose debate). The winner gets a small icon indicating his win in a debate of a certain issue along with the number of votes he got. Eventually active people in different issues would be collecting many winning icons that would distinguish them as leaders in that area.

We also introduced the friendly arena module which would work as a group arena where people sharing the same values would group themselves, add group feed, and check out which group members are engaged in a debate so that to go and give support.

The project wasn't meant to stop at this stage. They asked us to think of a potential sources of funding and methods of developing it. We haven't yet started searching for funding. Today the Swedish Institute Project manager of the program - Wonderful Sweed Javeria - sent us an email telling us that she started looking into this issue to help us (Thank you Javeria).

I personally think that no one would develop this better than people of itoot/ikhbis/watwet...etc. I so admire your work people. I don't know how much money we would need, and if you would be interested working on this. Maybe I would have to contact Ahmed Humaid? I am just too excited about this project and can see a lot of potential to it.

I personally believe that social arena would grow to help future generation of leaders to emerge.

PS: Don't steal this idea! :P

Virginity is overrated

2008-11-19T11:27:00.004+02:00

* This post is not for minors!
** Some women might need male guidance! (kidding)

Virginity is overrated! Seriously!
It confines the whole sexual process in one act!
INTERCOUSE!
How absurd is this?
or is it not?

I had this converstion with different people
What does having sex mean?

Is it the whole package of different sexual acts?
cuddling, fondling, kissing, hugging, squeezing, oral, ..etc
or
It is just about intercourse?

Most answeres were the latter!
(what is the religious ruling here? anyone knows?)

BUT

What if I decide to skip intercouse and stick to the other stuff?
Does it mean that I am not having sex?
and that I am "shareefeh" (honorable) in the eyes of society if I am not married

DONT get me wrong
I am a married woman now (wooohoooo)

Ops...after a second thought
it can be applied on me as well
I mean it won't be a betrayal if I did all of the above acts with another man (not my husband) without having intercouse with him
no?

*I am not going to do it, but I am talking hypothetically here*

I know
Intercouse is important to a lot of people
but as every other thing in life
People have different tastes!
Some would just enjoy their sexuality without having to be penetrated! (or penetrate!)

I am, myself, not a big fan of intercourse
I would rather stay virgin all my life!
and enjoy my sexuality at the same time
Is that a bad thing?

Isn't virginity overrated here?
I mean, how many virgins are out there who do this?
and then hold up the moral card whenever sex is mentioned!

Regards,
Married Haya!

Licky Licious and the idea book

2008-11-17T23:34:00.003+02:00

Licky Licious sales have fallen dramatically in the past two months, first it was Ramadan, and then the continuous drop in temprature. My and my business partner have also been busy, watching the sales going down in a negative attitude, and wondering what does it mean with the approching of winter, and whether we are going to survive through it or not. We were thinking that maybe we can close it through the winter and open back in Spring. This is an option if it didn't manage to carry up the running expenses.

For a first year in business of a new place, I think that Licky Licious would take a 'C' mark. We didn't profit, but we managed to cover up the expenses and the rent of next year. We did a lot of mistakes, and learnt how to handle a lot of stuff. We managed to add some items to our menu that we didn't think of when we opened last march. We are optimistic of next year and hoping for better performance.

The big question now is: How are we going to survive winter?

As I said above, the attitude we had was like we will see as it goes! and didn't have any insight about it. But then, I was just reading the idea book which I brought back with me from Sweden. One of the tips is to write down your ideas so that not to lose them, another one is to try to come up with as many ideas as possible because eventhough not all ideas are good, if you come up with 10, it is more likely that one of them is good, no?

I wrote down few ones that I like to share with you:

1. To find more time to see my business partner. We both are busy and find it hard to sit down and talk about the shop. This should change.

2. Brain storm with friends. Friends can be a treasure of ideas. I love to hang out with friends, and asking for good ideas for LL would be an entertaining discussion. You guys as well can help me here. If you have any idea in your head, just pop it here. I would appreciate it so much. We need to survive the winter.

3. Tea: Adding tea to our menu sounds like a good idea. Hassan, our empolyee told me today that more than one person asked for it, and that people are asking Cafeteria Al Quds for some tea with their falafel instead of pepsi. What do you think?

4. Jumpo ice cream: hehehe, I haven't tried it yet, but I was thinking of having several scoops in a large cup, the one we serve slush in it now, and add some smashed biscuits, bananas, and whip cream! Go for more ice cream this winter, no?

5. I was thinking of having this special offer in rainy days, like having two scoops for 1.2 jd instead of 1.6 jd now. I need to discuss all of this wih my business partner first, but it sounds like a good idea for me. When it rains, think of special offers at Licky Licious.

6. The idea board: We have a pin board in Licky Licious, we haven't used it for anything useful lately. I am thinking of buying some sticky notes, and have pens for people to write down ideas to improve the place. That should be fun, and easy to implement.

7. This is a special offer I talked to my business partner with and we are ready to start, maybe starting from after tomorrow. It goes like "Buy two scoops and get a cookie for free". Our cookies are so good. You have to try it.

Let me know what you think, and what ideas do you have.

Stop waiting..

2008-11-13T18:46:00.004+02:00

Beautiful Hiba is waiting. Like many others, she is waiting for a dream, she is waiting for truth, for peace, love, and happiness.

Many are waiting

But many others are drifting

Just like me, drifting in a path of mistery, in a journey with an unset length, a journey that has been good to me, in a way that is keeping me happy, and hoping for even brighter stops, stops of light, that feeds me all the way into a better sight of my surroundings that would be added to my perception.

For all those who are waiting... I say that maybe it is time to stop waiting, and live the real thing of your short awarnace... before it disappears...

My inner leader and Sandi bell!

2008-11-11T00:42:00.003+02:00

This is funny, today we had this leadership and gender workshop. The lecturer asked us to take a moment and meet the inner leader of us! It was a weird request, we had to sleep and relax (mediate) and she was guiding us of what to imagine. She asked us to image a place. I don't know why, but I imagined myself in the beautiful garden of Sandi bell! (Dont laugh), Do you remeber it guys? The beautiful small garden where Sandi took care off and dreamed of her lover Mark. Anyhow, she then asked us to follow a path, and I imagined a road with a green sides to Sandi's house! I entered the house and my inner leader (which is me) came in! Surprisingly wearing the same jacket I was wearing today! I couldn't keep up with the instructions of the lecturer as I fall asleep and started snoring! how shameful!

When I woke up, some talked about their experience, she had asked them to imagine their inner leader giving them a box and to open it and check what was inside. I continue my imagination then, and imagined mine giving me a black box, and in it a message saying that I have a beautiful live infront of me :). I believe there is, and look forward for it.

Back to the lecture, which was mainly about leadership and gender. Sweden seems to be so concerned with gender equality, I think they have a Ministry for Integration and Gender. The other day I found this booklet in the Swedish Institute where they have all of those statistics about men and women and their numbers in different occupations and roles. Inspite of the social awarnace and government and non-government work to achieve gender equality, there is still inequality in achievements of women in leading roles. The lecturer pointed out that there has been a study that found that women in middle managerial positions have better skills than men. And that there has been a study in Finland which found that companies with a female CEO makes 10% more profit! That doesn't mean that women are more competent than men, but it means that women have still to put more efforts and gain more skills in order for them to occupy a position that a man would fill with less skills.

Women around the world have achieved a lot in the past decade, but still they have a long way to go.

Restoring virginity in Sweden?!!!

2008-11-07T16:11:00.005+02:00

You won't believe what I have found in a the second largest morning newspaper in Sweden. It is something that I would expect to read in one of the Jordanian's newspapers or any other country. There is an article talking about the risks of "virginity restoring" operations, forced marriages, and under-age marrying. Maybe you wouldn't be that surprised if you know that around 25% of the Swede population has different ethnic background. There is a huge community of immigrants from the Arab and the Muslim world. The issue of immigrants is a big deal in Sweden, in one hand the society is trying to absorb the new comers, and in another hand, there are issues of differences in cultures and traditions and behaviour.

Swedes in general are tolerant people. They try to be very politically correct when they address anyone. Newspapers try to cater for the diversity of people living in Sweden, and there are some special organizations that work on monitoring what goes out in media in order to ensure no discrimination or hate speech going on.

I was happy to know that they have this special system at schools where they have this prequisite for high shcool which is to have students meet people of different minorities. Like for intance bringing a veiled girl, Imam, homosexual, black man, ...etc to give those teenagers a chance to be closers to these minorities and ask them about whatever they have in mind.

I wish we can introduce such an initiative in Jordan. It would be a good idea to build more tolerance and harmony in our society. I suggest to bring a jew, a shite, a christian, a black, an american and a homosexual!

The world is back on track

2008-11-06T19:14:00.002+02:00

It has been long 8 years. 8 years in turmoil, going through a crisis after another, and disaster after another. George W Bush has managed to shake up not only the US, but also the entire globe.

It isn't like we have been living in a peaceful world before that, but back then, the world was in a more peaceful state.

The extreme external affairs policies of the pervious US government have managed to help extremists gain ground eveywhere around the globe. Moderates found themselves in a difficult position trying to stand up for tolerance, peace and love. War against terror only managed to multiply it. The ethnic and religious devision grew larger than ever. New crusaders appear at the tongue of Bush himself!

The world has waited 8 long years. Some lost hope in the Americans, and some were crossing their fingers. Fortunatly, they proved that there is still hope in that country and there is still hope for the world.

There is some tough work the Obama has to take care of. I have a big faith in him, and a big faith in the world. We are going into a healing phase, and back on the right track.

The bright side of homosexuality in Jordan

2008-11-03T23:35:00.003+02:00

The general stand on homosexuality and its moral aspects from a religious/belief point of view is onething, and trying to build on people's moral emotions by a bad journalist and an out-dated homophobic doctor is a totally another thing.

Journalism and Medicine are two dangerous important fields that affect people's lifes closely. When a daily newspaper as Al Ghad publishes an article that doesn't differenciate between a homosexual, transexual and a prostitute, and generalize in a way that is far away from truth, one would really wonder about the professionalism of our media and the how much we can rely on such newspapers for a credible news?

Is it good that homosexuality helps us realize how professional are our journalists?

It is even more dangerous when you apply it to Medicine. People's lives are in the line here. There should be no room for corruption in the medical field. People like the claimed Dr. Abed Al Hameed Al Qudah should be accountable for what they say.

For a guy who has a PH.D degree from the UK as he stated in his research, and one who is specialized in infectus diseases (I have no idea how that give him credibility to talk about homosexualiy) and is holding a position as the manager of the specialized labs in Irbid, the expectations of professionality and credibility should be high.

But then again, reading through comprehensive research one would immediatly realize that the guy is backing scientific methods in treating homosexuality that has been discredited in the scientific community more than 30 years ago!

What measures do we have in Jordan to ensure that doctors follow the latest medical findings? Is there something one can do when he goes to a doctor that applies a dangerous outdated treatement on him that causes him more harm than good? Is it the time where the government should be asked to come up with more regulations and survaillance over the medical field to ensure a higher level of professionalism? Isn't that more important to us -the Jordanian citizens- than following effiminate men in the streets?!

Is it good that homosexuality helps us realize how professional are our doctors?

It is time to stand up for the truth and don't let some unprofessional people build on our emotions to succeed in a louzy work. Be clear about your morals, but be clear as well about following your work ethical guidlines, for us the Jordanian citizens are not naive anymore, the internet is full of information.

I hate museums!

2008-11-02T19:21:00.003+02:00

Okay Hiba, here we go, I declare it on my blog, I hate museums!

Why the hell do I have to walk all that stupid distance to check out a couple of ancient tools, some stones, and some skulls and skeletons for the vikings? Yes, I do find it interesting to know more about the history of Sweden, and yes, it is so cool to know more about the Vikings, but I would prefer to get those information through a documentary film.

Do you people really like to go to museums when you visit a country for tourism? I mean what is the point? getting to know the culture? but wouldn't a historical museum represent an old culture of the country rather than the one exist now? what about going to bars and restaurant? going into the metro station and mingling with people of the specific country? wouldn't that give you a better insight and better perspective of the cultures of people of this country?

Even that won't really help in getting you to know the culture of a country. Every major city in the world is becoming a conspolitan place. There are many nationalities in Stockholm, and many people coming from different backgrounds, some are more open than the other, but some are so close so that not to lose their identities in the new society they live in. It is the same in most modern cities. This is more of a universal code of a modern life.

It leaves me with a big question, what is the most essential thing you need to experience when you visit a new country? I really have no clue...

Question the un-questionable

2008-10-31T01:08:00.004+02:00

A thing is not right because we do it

A method is not good because we use it

Equipment is not the best because we own it

I copy those quotes from 'The idea book' they gave us to day as a part of the program. We had a very interesting lecture on creativity where the lecturer told us the story of this book.

He said that they had published a creative book before and wanted to publish another one, but it won't be creative if they did it the same way, and so they tried to do it in another way. Instead of writing the book and send it to a publisher where they would get little chance of getting it accepted and printed out, and then being sold for at most as 7000 copy in Sweden with 20% royalities only for them which would generate only little money that won't reach 10,000 euros. They decided to be creative, and so they thought that they would sell a creative book for companies instead of publishers/bookshops. So they called several companies telling them that they have this book who they didn't write yet. They get several orders from companies and had the many to print the book themselves, and thus have 100% of the profit for themselves instead of the 20% when a publisher do it for you.

Then they thought, why why not writing half a book instead of a full one? and so you can find many blank pages in the book! It is a good idea because they left it for you to write your own ideas! Then they said why not to write a quarter of a book than writing half of it? They had an email list and sent emails to many people asking them for ideas of how to be creative, and they paid every good idea that found itself in the book 100 Euro, and so they were bombarded with many many ideas where they filtered and picked the best.

Then they thought that hotels may like to buy those books. Hotels in Sweden usually have the bible in the rooms next to the guests bed. They were able to convince them to add The Idea Book, and sometimes it became instead of the bible!

They ended up making 2 million Euro instead of 10,000 non guaranteed Euros if they followed the traditional way.

He then had this old stream train picture. He said that for a hundred of year or so, people had both horse carriages for transportation, and stream engines for industrial purposes. No one though of combining them except one man! and the result was.. the train!

You gotta draw lines and combine things up.

Question the un-Questionable!

The pluto story! I bet that most of you have studied the solar system in school, no? They have taught us that the solar system contains 9 planets. They taught us *THE* 9 planets of the solar system. They didn't say that scientific studies or devices pointed that we have 9 planets. They taught us an absolute truth that we have all believed in.

Suddenly in one day, pluto stopped being a solar planet! In one day our absolute 100% believe that pluto is a solar planet turned into a 100% believe that it is not!

What got into that scientist to question that fact? and how did she manage to convince the world otherwise?

Group dynamics!

2008-10-30T01:45:00.003+03:00

It is almost midnight here in Stockholm, I just got back to my room after having a good dinner at an Italian Restaurant (Michel Angelo) in the old time. I am very sleepy, but I have several assignments to take care of. First documenting today's activities, then researching social media network solutions trends, and finally coming up with an idea for a new solution.

Today it has been tough at the beginning, we are still having a hard time trying to regulate the communication between us the Frozen 5. We are discussing every single irrelevant detail while letting the time to pass without any real work.

It is natural in a way, as we had a lecture today about group dynamics and the need of the group members to open up to each other and put some trust in each other. It was interesting the notion of opening up in a work environment, something that I have always believed in, and is in the contrary of the spread notion that in order to be professional at work, you have to keep your personal issues out of it. A lot have got it wrong, in order to achieve better, you ought to feel comfortable and relaxed with the group you work with.

We then had another a marketer and branding guy lecturing us about new marketing trends in relation to social median. It was a long interesting presentation. One of the issues that sticked ot my mine is his saying that the world has changed, and the classical marketing methods of a source of broadcasting of a single medium to an audiance has changed to a mutual interaction between entities because indiviuals themselves became broadcast sources. Marketers are trying to re-evaluate their ad campains and build on cultural and social causes to gain more value.

I am learning a lot! I wonder how much I would be able to carry with me.

Sweden and Social Media Network Solutions

2008-10-29T00:37:00.006+03:00

4 days passed since my last update for this blog, I wanted to document my daily activities in Sweden, actually I need to do that because daily documentation is indeed an assignment for us that we have to do, but we really don't have much time, the program is intensive, and we barely have time for ourselves.

I will try to come back later and talk about the previous days, especially the team building activities we have gone through.

Today we had really a very interesting lecture, it was about different social media software. We gone through many many different solutions where at a point I felt that I am so ignorant in this area. The world is so much different today than 5 years ago, there are many ways to connect with people and share your information. I was happy to learn about Twitter - micro blogging, and signed up over there. It was kind of fun, I then remembered WatWet, and suggested it to the group, and signed up on WatWet as well, so now you can have The Arab Observer on both. I was surprised to learn about the different services provided by other websites as an add ons to Twitter!

We have also had a brief explanation of you tube, blogger, bambuser and seesmic! We were live from hyper island school on bambuser through a cell phone! I was on chat with my friend in Jordan at the same time, and he was able to see me on video and engage in chat! It was amazing! It is really amazing how no a days anyone can do a live broadcast from anywhere in the world!

After the team building activities we were divided in five groups. Mine is of five people, me from Jordan, and others from Palestine, Syria, Egypt and Sweden. We have an assignment of creating a group blog and document our daily work on it. We came up with a name for our group The Frozen 5! Stupid name, no? but we were actually a bit frozen trying to accept all of this work because in addition to these simple assignments, we have to start working on a big one, and which is to come up with ideas and then a prototype for a social media solution! We have to do some research and analysis of the current situation and try to figure out what would work for 2010! Any suggestions guys?

Here is our blog link: http://www.thefrozen5.blogspot.com/

It still needs a lot of work, but check it out for our updates from Hyper Island. The course is really overwhelming. The Swedish Institute guys are amazing, they are taking a very good care of us, and the Hyper Island people are excellent!

Sweden, second day, dinner at the Noble Museum

2008-10-25T00:13:00.004+03:00

The second day of the program, today, friday, we had to wake up at 7 am Sweden time, 8 am Jordanian time to have breakfast before leaving to the Swedish Institute (SI) an hour later. Normally, in Amman, I would wake up around 10 and have some little chat over a cup of coffe with my parents in their bed before our breakfast (miss you dad and mom). I didn't change my time so that I fool myself that I wake at 8 instead of 7! But eventhough, when I woke up, it was still dark! The sun wasn't over yet and I was like what the hell!! How can I wake up like this?!

We had our breakfast and left to the SI where we had a brief introduction about the program and were everyone presented himself. The head of the SI gave a small speech about how Sweden is connected to the world, and how little they are connected to the middle east, and how much they like to share Sweden with the world. They start this program this year in an attempt to build stronger relationships with the countries presented. He pointed out the freedom of speech has been established in Sweden since 1766! Yes, 1766! and they never had a censorship case since then! (We are so behind in this deparment, arent we?), but he also said that democracy came late to them as they started to vote on 1948! (not so late to us? hehehe)

We then had 5 minutes each to present ourselves. We had 7 questions about ourselves as guidlines. I was impressed with the achievements and passion of the participants, all in his field of media and social development, all young and are looking for a brighter future for them and their communities. I got nervous while giving mine for I still don't feel comfortable in public speeches!

At 7 pm we had to go to the Noble Museum for a dinner and opening ceremony. It was a wonderful evening. The museum from his nambe is to honor people who won the Noble prize. We had a special presentation about Alfred Noble himself. It was interesting to know how he created the dynamite and how he established many factories all over the world and then specified that he wants his fortune to be dedicated to honor people who achieve something for humanity.

I am trying to upload photos and videos but it is not working :S. I will try later!

My flight and arrival to Stockholm

2008-10-23T20:08:00.003+03:00

It is funny, blogger has detected me in Sweden, he turned the menus to default Swede!

It has been a long journey today. We had a transit flight to Stockholm passing through Frankfurt. We left Amman at 3 am in the morning. It was nice meeting the other 2 jordanian participants and the 4 palestinian participants. We had only an hour to catch our flight from Frankfurt to Stockholm, unfortunatly it wasn't enough! Frankfurt airport is so large and it was so busy. We arrived 10 minutes late, and the plane was off! We had to wait for two hours for the other flight. They said they would arrange for our luggage, but they didn't seem to arrange it well! We ended in Stockholm's airpot Arlanda the last people waiting for their luggage without any hope! We looked around for officials to help us. They checked and said that they should arrive in a late flight today. They had our hotel address and gave us a save survival kit! An underwear, tooth brush, shower gel, ....etc! I would like to see something like that implemented in Jordan.

The Swedish Institute people were worried on us for being late. They had two taxi's waiting for us at the airport, and when we missed the first flight, they contacted our families to check on us. We tried to inform them through email and sms but it didn't work out very well.

Anyway, it was a spectacular view from the airplane as we reached Stockholm, the city is built on several Islands, it is beautiful to see the merge of land and sea this way. Through our way to the hotel, I enjoyed the landscape of the beautiful shades of yellow and green leaves of the autumn trees.

I had few photos so far which I wanted to upload here, but couldn't find the camera cable, it seems to be in my bag that hasn't arrived yet. There is no plan for tonight. I have my heavy jacket in the bag as well so I am not sure if I can go out without it or not! The weather was surprisingly sunny! It was a bit cold when we arrived like a morning sunny day in January in Amman, the night seems to be much colder. I didn't check it out yet.

They welcomed us at the hotel with a welcome kit of several booklets about Sweden and its culture. It seems to be an interesting read. One starting paragraph caught my attention, I loved it and so I copy it here for the end of this post:

"The nice thing about customs and traditions is that they are constantly changing. When no longer in use, they are either forgotten or re-cast in a different mould."

I am going to Sweden...

2008-10-21T09:18:00.002+03:00

I am heading tomorrow to Stockholm/Sweden for 3 weeks to attend the Young Leaders Visitors Program. It is a cultural program organized by the Swedish Institute. They aim to build a network of people from different Arab countries (Jordan, Palestine, Syria, Lebanon and Egypt) and Sweden who are actively working through social media to infleuence social change.

The program is intensive. It is tailored to give the participants the required tools and skills to shape public opinion. There would be different classes and lectures forcusing on cutting-edge media whilte strenghthning intercultural and leadership skills.

I would be required to document my daily experience in Sweden and giving feedback about the program. It should be fun. I guess, I would be able to right my impressions and feelings over here for you to read.

The whole promise of the trip and meeting all those people excites me. I am just concerend about the cold weather over there! My winter would start early this year! The average temprature in Stockholm in November is between 1-5 c! I guess, I will be staying in my hotel room!

Will let you know how it goes!

A muslim wants to get baptized!

2008-10-16T08:42:00.003+03:00

Mom: A muslim friend of mine wants to get baptized. She seeked me and your father for an advice. He told her that from a Christian point of view, if you want to follow Jesus, you don't care about anything else, but then again, his personal advice for her is to think carefully so that she won't lose all what she cares for in life.

Observer: shekelha enjannat! (she must have gone insane!). A sane person wouldn't leave a religion for another one!

Mom: NO! She is very sane! Jesus has been appearing to her for a while!

Observer: hai akeed enjannat ezan! (She most definitaly lost her mind then!).

Hallucintaions anyone??

Women always at fault

2008-10-14T15:32:00.003+03:00

I was doing my laundry at his house
He was a friend
Our washing machine broke
I suggest to my mom to take our laundry to my friend's house
We have been friends for several months
and we have many common friends

so I didn't expect him when..
I didn't expect him to..

He came into the laundry room playing with himself!
I looked in disbelief
and was outraged, really outraged
I ran to leave the house
leaving the laundry behind, for it didn't matter anymore
He followed me
and grabbed me from my arm strongly
I got scared
He pushed me on the sofa
and pushed himself over me
I felt parallized
and didn't know what to expect
I had to react, in anyway
I got all the courage I have, and warned him firmly
If you are not going to leave me alone now, I will make sure to tell everyone about this

Thank God!
He backed off!
I was relieved
He started telling me that he loves me and that he wants me
I took my laundry while still frightened and left

I was in shock
and didn't want to see him again
Our friends started to question me
It was my word against him

Why were you in his house they asked?
I should have expected that reaction!
No matter how much of a victim a woman can be, it is always her fault

I am the immoral bitch who trusted the decency of a male friend
and his kind proposal for me to have my laundry at his house

You never know where a predator lies? no?

and you know what hurts the most?
It isn't that he betrayed the trust I gave him
and freaked the hell out of me
but
the injustice you feel when someone hurts you and your friends who you depend on
just stand still
questioning your credibility and honesty

It hurts
but what can I do
I was in his house! It justifies it, no?!

With love,
Haya

Flowers flow through the cyber world to you..

2008-10-12T18:36:00.002+03:00

It easy to accumilate negative feelings of people around you. Sometimes, it would be wise to stop for a moment and let those voices out. It feels good to open up those channels and level down the tension in your head.

I want to offer a digital flower for everyone reading this post.

Marie, Kinzi and Hayat come to mind at the top of the list.

Natasha you too, miss you :)

The Arab Observer

We moved to wordpress!

هلأ لوين.. هل النساء فعلا ملائكة و الرجال شياطين؟

The Arab Observer is back!

The Arab Observer: Bye Bye

يوم رجمت هيا المجدلية

حقي ان اعيش و ان اختار و ان اكون ولكن

Licky Licious on JustJared, People.com, HuffingtonPost and OK! Magazine

Interesting celebrities in the streets of Milan!

Queen Rania: We don't need process, we need projects on the ground

I am enjoying my stay in Florence

Hugs to you.. Jordanian Women

"All men are equal" That Is Not True!

Life can be a fairy tale... and more..

Policemen in Jordan beating a helpless man: This is NOT acceptable

Like Girls Grow Breasts When They are Older, Some of Them Grow Penises

Jordan's Tribal Heritage Shouldn't Justify Death Sentence

Why Queer is not good enough to define Arab homosexuals?

Honor Crimes, will the law change anytime soon?

هل نحن امام اخر فرصة لدينا لانقاذ الارض؟

10 normal things that people do or believe in

Social Hypocrisy 2

Haya's 30 years bday resolution regarding men.. and women

Social Hypocrisy

Jordan with no death sentence?

Jordanian bloggers and Twitter

My 31, I mean 21 birthday

I am a happy man

The shift towards being more religious, why?

I wish I can reach out my hand to Laila, Mariam and Aziza!

Horror films make women less feminine! A jordanian newspaper claims!

The maid, the magic and my friend

Queen Rania twitters the Pope!

Toyota + Police = Brilliant Traffic Awarness Ad Campaign

Swine flu and pimping one's sister!

Cross-dressers

How on earth can we live togather?

*Measurments* of freedom of expression

Cairo Hotels!

Misr ba2at asya awi 3ala ahlaha

The kiter runner touching moments

No honor in killing - "Online initiative"

Stop Crimes Against Women

كل عام و انتي بخير ماما

10 in the evening on Dream Tv: Dr. Ahmed Zewail

هل تقتل الشعوب العربية حريتها المتاحة على الانترنت؟

BAJD - I love Jordan

هيا, ماذا يحصل للابذرفر؟

The worst I read on Jordan's blogsphere

Petra in a snow globe!

A short story from "The Kite Runner"

Tales of a beautiful life - Naming our homes

How much our social structure affects our financial status?

Emos! a new catch for traditional writers!

How much you reflect of your self in your clothes?

Ideas: Colored Kenafeh, Panty hose 7atta, Buttoned shoes

Red in a broad line on LBC: Arab homosexuals and their surroundings

Seven Pounds: Sacrifice vs Guilt

Obama has already done some changes!

The world has a new language

Gaza wants to live

اسرائيل تسحب كأس الارهاب

MSN Arabia covers Kate Winslet body!

Zain’s Social Work

Jordan Chamber of Commerce, I am impressed!

When governments damage their people

Break up because of their wedding card

في بداية عام جديد, متى نبدا بتقديس الحياة؟

How did the Secret work for me this year?

Child Custody Law

Merry Xmas!

It is time to acknowledge our achievements

Micro blogging - Shoes issue and other stuff

The shoes should only humilate Bush!

Muntadhar Al-Zaidi is a hero!

What part of 'Speed kills you' you don't understand?

Gay penguins steal eggs from straight couples!

Happy Adha everyone...

Donia Al Mahabba - Voices of the world

88 minutes... serial killers!

Measurments of freedom of expression